Mayhem 2012 (the Mudfest) Report
This year plenty of rivalry with 5 teams in Mixed Sport with TNR connections
Cat n Fiddlers (aka TNR “A” team) Paul, Emma, Butty, Dr Simon & El Pres
Mrs T & the rusty nailers (“B” team) Andy, Alex, Vicky, Slim & Eric
Je James Cycles (Sponsored Youff) Shaun & 4 whippets
Tythy High School mates A Thornton, H Palmer, G Croxford, T Gittings + their mate Nat are entering the Junior race – 1 full lap Sat eve.
Dukinfield CC A & B Duncan demoted to B team the week before!
Pre Race banter has Dunc confidently predicting Duks “A” as the team to watch, Shaun’s whippets expected to vastly outpace any TNR teams and on paper Pauls team have significant advantage over Andy’s. Various “Dad and Lad” side plots too.
As the weekend approaches, weather sites are visited with increasing frequency and urgency – the Azores high is slipping south to give a complex set of lows to pass over the UK in the coming days..The news is full of pictures of an Isle of Wight festival subsiding into the mud…
Thursday sees heavy rain, Friday sees heavy rain in the morning, and further rain and showers forecast for Saturday and Sunday. Only one thing is certain – the going will be “soft”…
Butty stakes our campsite claim a little way from the Duks Friday lunchtime, and by 7ish is rapidly joined by Dr Simon, the Thornton Caravan, Stunt + 3 Juniors, the Smith Motorhome (shiny!) and Shaun’s team. Just driving in the mud is already inches deep off road, the arena has not a green blade of grass to be seen and the course is a black stripe spattered with occasional mud covered riders scouting the course. The ground squelches underfoot. We drive in carefully cunningly pointing downhill so we can have a gravity assist to the lower road on Sunday.
Camp is pitched, kettles boiled, food cooked, equipment checked then we relax with some beer, red wine and slip into a mini axis of evil involving, more red wine, even more red wine and then just a little whisky before retiring to bed. Overnight wind and rain blow through to give a fine morning.
Eric & Pete, Plus the Palmers arrive in good order, care is needed not to slip over at registration, mud tyres and pressure washers are doing brisk trade in the “village”. Excitement builds, numbers are attached to bikes, kit is donned and it’s off to the start!
Dr Simon races ahead on the run (top 25 some say), stunt ambles through a bit later and the horde of riders are already slithering and splashing across muddy grass towards the kenda climb – queueing starts almost immediately and soon they are gone from sight. Spooky woods is full of sticky slippy mud, and the end of every muddy section there are 10 or 15 riders de-clogging bikes,
Its 50% push 50% ride and the unicyclists and Islabike rider have a massive advantage over the masses. Finally back down the cobbled track to the arena for more soggy slithering, up and over the Lenzyme Bridge before heading up an ever widening grass trail up towards the obelisk. More unrideable mud torrents, occasional respite on tracks and a tricky slippy descent back to the arena.
Many a rider has had at least one slippy off (at least the landings are generally soft too)
Race leader took over an hour, mere mortals are closer to two, comments to the rest of the team usually consist of profanities, and the words Brutal, Murder, Slog, Mudfest and thank god there will be longer rests than normal! Je James and TNR A are true to form with well under 2 hours, TNR B just inside 2, but its no weather for Duks as one of their riders has already been overtaken…more on that later.
Already some facts are emerging ..mud-clearance is king, mudguards will be bad, skinny tyres & light bikes good, pushing is faster than riding for much of the course…boots with grip are essential!
Second riders head out, Butty rapidly discovers that his Evil hardtail is just that – fat tyres, inadequate clearance, and heavy frame make for a tough lap, his front mudguard is discarded (and still lying buried for future generations to find) he will switch to the singlespeed burly for his next lap! Vicky comes back smiling having enjoyed the conditions more than most other riders. Start Times, lap times and ETA’s begin to appear on the central whiteboard back at camp.
Stunt generously shares spare football studs for biking boots – a spur of the moment purchase that looks rather wise. Eric also had a spur of the moment purchase – a new seatpost – sadly on his lap he didn’t have it on him as his uppy downy version sheds it saddle 20 minutes in, tie wraps break and eventually he returns with it attached by long lengths of course marker tape would round (well we did hear stories of mending rally car axles with fenceposts the other week – so he know’s a thing or two about improvisation!)
The course is drying slightly and lap times start to creep down, Je James and A team start the “Fastest Lap” rivalry which PTD (as usual) lays down on lap four.
Tales of offs and near misses abound, both Pete & Dr Simon have had full somersault offs , both ending up safely sitting or standing such being the bizarre nature of the day.
Heading towards early evening the Juniors make the start line at 6pm – Dave Mawdsleys bike with V brakes already clogged on the start line gives young Nat little chance of getting moving – he manfully struggles on for 30 minutes before we retire him in the interests of safety. Ali & Harry get round in good order in highly respectable times, with Greg and Tom completing too – an impressive feat in the conditions!
El Pud having spent much of Friday night picking Dr Simons medical brains on hip options, gets on with grinding (literally) the last ounces of value from his current ball & socket – suitably dosed up with nurofen!
The RAIN ARRIVES, and sets in as it gets dark, lap times get longer and siren songs are sung about bailing out until dawn. “To ride or not to ride that is the question” . B team will carry on regardless, but A team waver , as are Je James, and it later transpires the Duks. Similar debates are clearly raging around the campsite, as many a rider arrives back to find no-one there to greet them, the course gets sparser and sparser. Ironically the extra rain makes some sections sploshy but much more ridable (thin mud doesn’t stick), although that is balanced by low cloud (properly spooky woods!!) rain and increased mud splatter.
Stunt discovers a mere 4 riders in the queue for the jet wash at 00:30!
Pete has to change a puncture before setting out, then within a short time finds his cleat attached to his pedal (but not his boot)! Borrowing spare Butty boots he eventually competes a very long lap.
Butty however returns to find A team in bed! Shame eventually trickles through tent Fabric and El Pres does go out a couple of hours later to carry on.
Smugness of B team is rebuffed by rapid lap times of both A & Je James the next morning (although Dr Simon managed to crash and attend the medical tent for a knee knock in the process).
Entertainment is provided by a neighbouring team who are meticulously cleaning every bike to the last chain link between laps….why!!!?
Heading for the last laps it looks like both A & B will end up on 11 laps each – meaning one rider will have to do a third lap (volunteers are few! Stunt and Butty man up, as does young Shaun despite the rest of his team doing the opposite!)
A team have a healthy lead in time though – so the TNR form book at least looks to be holding true.
We discover through Dunc that the Duks have had a torrid time, A team have been freaked out by the conditions and have bailed on 7 laps, his B team have struggled and look like they will finish behind TNR also.
The streams and lakes are full of riders cleaning bikes as last laps are finished and the jetwash queue is just stupidly long.
Butty heads out as the sun begins to peep out from behind the clouds, Stunt follows somewhat later after El Pud completes his last mayhem lap before some form of surgical intervention.
Manfully attacking Kenda climb butty snaps his burly chain, swapping back to the evil he is soon again turning the mud blue with frustration. Stunt is surprised to pass him at the top of spooky woods. The obelisk side is rapidly drying back to sticky clay and its getting harder and harder the closer to the finish! Finally though our boys are shaking hands with the (even fatter) fat Pat, collecting medals and trudging back to camp for a final shower and packing up.
As so often at mayhem the sun is out with a fast drying wind – so we get mild sunburn whilst having a final cuppa and snack ahead of the journey home.
Caffeine stop at Frankley sevices mandatory, as the hosing down outside “prewash” for all bikes, boots , blankets and clothing!
Final scores on the doors
Tortoise beats hare, TNR’ers beat youff and overconfident duks
Mrs T & Rusty Nailers 11 laps 24:52 21st of 133 in class (top 16%)
Cat n Fiddlers 11 laps 25 and a bit 23rd of 133 in class(top 16%)
Je James & Duks B 9
Duks A 7
Half the whole field 6 or less
Truly an Endurance race. One to remember. Anyone fancy a Coast to Coast next year instead?
Words by Alex(Stunt) , Pics by Pete (Slim) and Dr S.
