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| From TNR 310512 – We Lost Butty |
Crew: PTD, El Pres, Butty, G, Slim, Dunc, Stunt, 3 Sheds, Dr Simon
Pub: Shaun, Croxy, Lord Lucan
Route: BL, Cat, Stanley Arms, Forest chapel, Narnia, Hardingland, Sadlers way, Teggs Nose, Sutton Hall
Conditions: Low Cloud, Humid, Dry trails damped down from rain earlier in the day, a bit midgy in places.
Stats: The mother of all faffs from Butty
Notes:
..we should have seen it coming, he complained about its rigidity, he complained about draggy tyres, it leaked oil on the peaks weekend, and tonight it saved the best till last. It all started so well, go big, go high, go long! Dan delivers a big route via text as he has to cry off last minute. We leave in good time , G races off even faster than usual on a test Scott carbon 29er full suss , Butty in pursuit, the rest of us settle into a grind, up into the cloud grateful that the weather means no motorbikes. A regroup at the Cat finds us ahead of G who has done Chazza “just because” . Is this the new “only bike you need” chatter dies away as we realise we are a man down – where is Butty? No phone contact possible, the minutes tick away, reasonable faff time is allowed for. We’ve put coats on as its cold now, we realise that its time to abandon the route and switch to search & rescue mode. A windy and chilly descent to the bottom of the oven – No Butty. G heads up the extension, the rest of us road to forest chapel – No Butty. We climb chazza…and finally Phil & G finally find Butty!! Luckily he’s not injured , but boy is he unhappy! Holy Rear tyres batman , there has been some less than Holy language been hurled at tyre, bike and pump…its cursed I tell thee cursed!
At Narnia entrance we amuse ourselves by offering advice on technique to passing riders, passport please J .Some impressive speed on a hardtail, and the most pathetic mincing at the back on a five ever seen – take it from someone who knows 😉. G & PTD conduct a series of mini vs challenges and G can hardly bring himself to admin that a featherweight 29 susser is still beaten by PTD’s 5.
Eventually after a fair bit of midge swatting we get our first proper offroad riding of the evening – (Butty will still need to stop a further 3 times to add additional air to the accursed contraption)
Narnia is great (with some very considerate walkers part way along), hardingland is excellent – Dr Simon is almost hustled into the wall by strange resonant oscillation (and a bit of pressure from 3 sheds..and unbelievably Stunt!). We herd sheep up Sadlers way, thrash down Teggs and head for civilisation in the form of Sutton Hall.
Butty now spends another 45 minutes repairing the despicable thing whilst we sample the delights of Lord Lucan, Flowers and a delectable menu (for which we have special discount prices on tonight)
This weeks Tabloid shockers
Pete eats a healthy meal
Tales of Buxton Road Bike Thievery
El Pres brings a serious lock (no connection to previous story ;-))
Near misses at the weekend & riding around “the land” in Grizedale
A whiff of flexibility at the establishment!? We negotiate a last snifter (plus Slim & El Pres sample Japanese whisky in the process).
Next week – Will Butty have replaced the Cursed machine with an Evil one?