drunkcyclist2

Crew: Slim, Butty, TJ, El Pres, Coley, 3 Sheds, Stunt

Pub: Dunc, El Pud

Route: Rainbow bridge, Redway, Ingersley vale, poachers snicket, pott shrigley, bakestonedale road, gritstone trail, bowstones, Woody fringes of lyme Park, lower park moor to brickworks, poachers.

Conditions: Cold & still, wet trails.

Notes:

Another northern takeover night with a retro routeplan and return to the poachers.

A refreshing lack of lame excuses, and the return of a few regulars 🙂

Bunny roadkill and a beeping bob on the “warming” climb to the gritstone trail.

Approaching bowstones great views, eye spy Red Lights (pylon warnings for aircraft approaching Woodford). The huge pile of grey stuff has been liberally dispersed (what was it for!). Butty suggests a woody furtle – so right turn across the top of the moor rather than down the normal descent. Rooty & muddy with added leaf litter makes for marvelous singletrack (despite Butty’s dire predictions to beware the deadly slippy roots..and they were!). Occasional owls, standing deer look on from the moor, and the route out touched by a grass frost. Plenty of stile style needed, rapid exit needed to make the poachers for food.

Aaahh the smell of stale beer and tobacco, the echoing of empty kegs and the passageway that’s just too narrow to roll the bike easily – the prodigal sons returneth. We start bike stack number three and enter to a bar full of Nancy’s 😉 Impressive movember facial hair from the landlord and barman, seamless, black magic and beaufort scale slip down very nicely. Food meets the required standard, and cameo from El Pud and Dunc.

From TNR 07-11-2013 Famous Four Plus Gopro – selected

TNR’s have come home…

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FNR 08-11-2013 barny at Nab End

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

words by Butty

Crew: Mr I, El Pres, Le Croixe, PtD, Chandler Bing, TJ, Butty, Big Jon the Smithy, Soft Tony (he’s not soft, but is a software developer).

Conditions: Friday was wet, wet, wet. Saturday was bright and fine though chilly.

Stats: Soft Tony had a chain break but fixed in record time (no magic links either).

Route Friday: Cat, Danebower, Axe Edge, Fairthorn, Hollins Hill, Nab End to drop gear, Longnor, Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese.
Route Saturday: Climb out above HollinsClough, Very rough descent, HollinsClough Moor, Flash Bar Stores, Blackcough entrance to three shires, Cutthorn, Clumberland, Sanding Stones, home!

After a sauce supply issue was resolved a 15min late start up towards the Cat. It was chilly and the skies didn’t look good.

After hail stones and a severe soaking going over Danebower Jon took command of the route, in these conditions the original plan was a little too ambitious, we needed the pub ASAP, no arguments!

Fairthorn descent was very soft and precarious much slip sliding, however the Hollins Hill descent was great fun! Rain stopped and conditions much improved by the time we hit the Barn. Quick drop of gear, drop of pound coins in the meter and turn on all the heating. Off to the Cheese which was unexpectedly rowdy dueto the darts match but was welcoming with buxom barmaids, fair pool players and lashings of beer!

The food was typical pub grub, table chips the new staple along with onion rings. There was a sausage debate with a half dressed PtD taste testing for the Pres, still they survived so guess they were okay in the end. As we started to feel the effects of chilly drafts on our damp clothing, operation steal the open fire kicked in. A few minutes of roasted sweaty biker ass was all it took and puddings was enjoyed around the fire.

After a night of communication difficulties due to the lack of signal TJ left early to meet the wife taxi, a very handy service!

Several rounds of “one more” and we began to realise this was country pub rules, I think we could have stayed all night! But discipline was needed, anyway we had cheese and whisky waiting at the bivvy barn.

Once at the barn, powered up the remainder of the heaters and the presidential boudoir was prepared, was it a boat, no it was an enormous inflatable mattress! After a few “float him down the river” and “real pubic hair” jokes we gathered around for the whiskey tasting. Mr Incredible should be proud; great cheeses (best was the matured Gouda) and a great selection of whiskeys varying by age. The whiskey and PtD’s Sherry made a good nightcap, only interrupted by the sudden darkness that fell because the meter ran out. Much laughing at Butties penis shaped torch before retiring for the snorefest.

Unfortunately the Bicycle Smithy won’t run itself, so an early start for Jon who missed breakfast. Mr I really showed us how it’s done, a fine selection of sausage, bacon and rolls was a great start. I think we might be looking at a new social secretary.

Sunshine on our backs as we chose the vomit inducing climb towards Longnor. A loop round to Hollinsclough and Croxy was most put out that the climb was actually optional! The descent was the rockiest rockfest from rockville, rockyland. Yeah it was severe! Duncan “the rigid” and Tony “the slow release clamp” really did not enjoy that bit, neither did the majority. It was only designed for nibble horses and full sussers.

After another vomit inducing climb the ridge ride provided great views of Chrome and Parkhouse hills, autumn really is the best light and it made the road ride to Flash bar stores easy work. On the way to three shires a seemingly friendly doggie turned out to be a nasty b’tard, attempting to bite Phil. A few stern words saw it off!

We were the moving chicanes for a trials event that followed us up to Cutthorn. Most of the motorise riders were friendly and considerate, all were noisy and left a horrible vapour in the air. The motorbikes went the opposite way at Buxton road but we met them again at the bottom of Cumberland. Yep definitely a trials event as we watched them climb a waterfall near the bottom gate. Impressive! Interestingly the motorbikes have cut a few new tracks like the one at the top ford following the wall – might need some investigation.

Usual climb to standing stones where we split into groups; “Knackered going home” and “Just one more path”. Right hand side of Standing Stone road was lethal for the wrong tyres.

Goodbyes at the Churchhouse where a local gathering of Steam engines was in progress. – Eventful day!

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TNR 07-11-2013 the only way was up

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Words by Eric

Crew; 3 Sheds, Mr Incredible, Slim, Eric

Lame excuses; All the FNR indoor bivouackers who couldn’t manage two nights on the run

Route; Rainbow Bridge, Riding School, Endon climb, Jumper Lane, Bull Hill, Charity Lane, Narnia, back down Charity and Bull Hill, Kerridge Ridge, Ingersley Vale, Poachers Snicket, Vale.

From TNR 07-11-2013 Famous Four Plus Gopro – selected

Conditions; Lovely, just right, no need for waterproofs, just a sensible jersey.

Stats; Slim – Puncture

Notes; Numbers depleted by lame excuses and the pressures of earning a living meant that a Northern Crew aided by TNR’s extreme southerly tip assembled at RB shortly after 7 pm.
A complete leadership vacuum resulted in a route which seemed to be big on ups and light on downs – but a ride is a ride and the Vale is the Vale.

From TNR 07-11-2013 Famous Four Plus Gopro – selected

In the gathering gloom a couple of terrified looking dog walkers cowered in the verge as we ascended Endon Hall drive, I guess the mass of lights heading up towards them was enough without seeing our attire!
Up and over Charity we went, to the entrance of Narnia, and mud; out of Narnia and back up to the road on mud, back down to the A road, thankfully no mud. At the entrance to Kerridge ridge we surveyed the first 50 yards, loads of mud which made for lots of relatively low speed technical fun. Slim punctured just before the steep singletrack and as 3 sheds stopped to help he couldn’t help sniggering at the dabs Eric and Mr I needed on the descent. With Pete re-inflated he set off to show how it is done. Don’t worry Phil your secret is safe with us, girly route and still a dab or two !
If the ridge was very muddy the woods were very very muddy but all survived and the snicket was climbed on route to the Vale.
Not a classic but fun all the same

From TNR 07-11-2013 Famous Four Plus Gopro – selected

In the pub – Moravka, all the way from exotic lands, monster burgers and a load of cobblers for Mr I. Sensible talk, but I can’t really remember what about.

From TNR 07-11-2013 Famous Four Plus Gopro – selected

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TNR 31-10-2013 There’s a nip or two in the air

Monday, November 4, 2013

words by Eric

Crew: PtD, Gee, 3Sheds, MrI, Slim, Coley, El Pres, Eric

In the pub: “In da pub Dunc”

Lame excuse: IDP Dunc, Halloween – too scary

Weather: warm start, damp middle, chilly end bit.

Stats: numerous – highlights; Gee chain faff within half a mile, Coley puncture and wheel recalcitrance, Eric unseated on the boardwalks,
Route: BL, Zig Zags, Charity Lane, Snicket, Standing Stone, Boardwalks; optional plunge to tarmac road or climb to the other tarmac road !, regroup at Forest Chapel, Narnia, Old Track descent to Leathers.

Notes, Winter drawers on – for some this means a thicker pair of socks and full gloves; for Kersh it means bring out the winter 29 inch hubster!. As we climb onto Blakelow Road we are abused by the driver of a small black car, obviously the BE Bernard felt that tonights event wasn’t big enough. Halfway up the first zig the party halts as the 29inch hubster has its pre winter service at the roadside.
3 Sheds can’t cope with this level of engineering ineptitute and disappears into the night muttering. The pace quickens up the tarmac section of Charity and is matched on the downhill with everyone feeling it was “riding quick” whatever that means.
Coley was too quick and the resulting snakebite turned into a full “can’t get the wheel back in” faff. Up to Standing Stone an on to the lethally slippery boardwalks, there are no recommended tyres for green planks. Eric manages the splits across bike and boards and decides the discretion is the better part of retaining ones nuts.
3 Sheds reemerges – still muttering.

At the T junction the A team choose to head upwards towards Charity and Narnia; the B team arriving a few minutes later blindly follow another crew left down towards the reservoir. As the B team start the long climb back the rains begin, great joy.
After regrouping at Forest Chapel we climbed back up Charity, fortunate to catch a gap in the heavy traffic heading down.

The cocktail bench in Narnia was found to be open with PtD serving up a halloween tincture which would make the devil perspire. The recipie is on the web near the bit about making your own weapons of mass destruction.
Time flies and with the chef at the Leather’s primed to work to the last minute it was everyone for themselves on the increasingly chilly descent.

In the pub – usual banter, with emphasis on ski trips, tough guy indoor camping, EriQuest postponements,etc.

Cometh the hour, cometh the ride home; leave the fire, welcome to winter gentlemen.

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TNR 24-10-2013 Jockey Unseated

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Words by Eric

Crew:
Ride 1, Gee, Butty, Slim, Eric
Ride 2, Duncan, Big Nick

Lame excuse of the week: All the half termers !

Route: Ride 1; Rainbow Bridge, Middlewood Way to Brookledge Lane, Birchencliffe Climb over Moorside Lane and climb to Sponds ridge. Across to the Gritstone Trail. Bowstonegate, descent to Knights Low, LHS climb out across Park Moor, Keepers Cottage and sneaky single track to Chapel. The Vale.

Conditions: Dry and warm for the time of year. Trails all steep!

Stats: Eric’s upper jockey wheel goes AWOL.

Notes: Just the right size peloton, the demographics being all Northern, assembled at the Rainbow Bridge and headed further north following Butty ! A warm up sprint along the Middlewood Way took us to the climb up Birchenclough. Toiling ever upwards we remembered why this is normally ridden the other way. Higher and higher to finally arrive at Sponds top where Kersh managed a couple of quick laps of the Cheshire Velodrome before the plunge and splash to Bowstones. Questions were asked of the TNR constitution as we passed a chap ascending the broken pipe climb with two lady companions, as we plunged down – 5 country!
Over the first big deer style for a surprise snifter of 10 year old Jura, thanks Pete, old age suits you.
Down to Keepers Cottage and the sneaky singletrack to the Chapel. Climbing out of the stream crossing Eric’s chainsuck turned out to be caused by the absence of a jockey wheel – having been chased by the Parky during his last rear mech failure in places one shouldn’t oughta, a hasty descent was made, hobby horse style.

Running repairs at the Chapel, and a retreat to the Vale was agreed, with Eric single speed and riding with the cadence of a hoody on a BMX.

Moravka the Lager of Bollington was the beer of choice with Big Nick and Dunc arriving from Ride 2. Further discussion of ski plans and all things good.

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TNR 17-10-2013 Fog and Moonlight

Sunday, October 20, 2013

From TNR 17-10-2013 Moonlight and Fog – Post LR

An Eric Dewhurst Production 🙂
Crew: PTD, El Pres, Slim, Butty, Mr Incredible, Gee, Eric.
In the forest and pub: Duncan
Lame excuse of the week: Alex – Wedding anniversary.

Route: BL, New Buxton Road, Tea Rooms, Stakeside and sneaky single tracks around the back of Errwood, Goyt Road with LHS single track, Cat, Standing Stone, Nessit straight on at the SS’s and single track to reservoir, Robs bench track, Sutton Hall.

Conditions: Not really autumn yet, everyone overlayered in the warm conditions.

Stats: Eric, monster chain jam, otherwise a stat/faff free evening

Notes: El Presidente leads off at a brisk pace for the summit.
Stakeside has just enough grease on the surface to keep the concentration focused and the knuckles white

From TNR 17-10-2013 Moonlight and Fog – Post LR

PTD reaches the bottom just as the followers peel off down the side track. Tales of weirwolfs in the peloton and then Slim and El Pres go right when everyone else has gone left – fear of weirwolfs now, no one wants to be off the back. It turns out they are lost not eaten so all is well.

Long climb to Derbyshire Bridge and the Cat – slight route vacuum, with stomachs overruling legs and a decision to blast back via the forest rather than Chumby.

Million mph descent to the forest.

Eric suffers chainsuck of biblical proportion which requires three men and a crowbar to fix.

Perfect rendezvous with “in da pub Duncan” on Nessit.

Sutton Hall,
Much planning for Mr I’s indoor bivvy night and resolution of the potential date clash with EriQuest – might have to ride ( and hence refresh) twice in two days.
Leffe becoming de rigour before a whisky finish and still mild ride home; it will get worse !

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TNR 10-10-2013 The North Wind Doth Blow

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Crew: PTD, El Pres, 3 Sheds, Slim, Butty, Coley, Mr Incredible, Stunt.

Route: BL, old rd, zig, Teggs, smithy, chazza, standing stone, Nessit, new tracks, motorway, paths, Resevoirs, Sutton hall.

Conditions: Cool with nasty northerly higher up, trails slippy in places.

notes:

A return to BAU as alpinists return (if not all the alpine bikes )

Butty sporting yet another offing injury – nice black eye!

Some faffing and admissions on batteries not fully charged – dark night rituals not yet embedded fortune new season.

Bitter wind as we break cover on top of Teggs.

New fence at the bottom rather too close to muddy singletrack – especially with two strands of barbed wire along the top!!

Route to chazza keeps to shelter, which works until we turn onto the road and it’s back and in our faces up the nasty steep bit – Coley loved it!

Talk of an autumn curry al fresco on a stiller evening

Butty has an old Skool descent on his rigid single speed.

Familiar trails feel newly appreciated after Gnarly Gmountains.

New territory rumoured to be slippy, but we do it anyway, and it was rather slippy with some familiar pushing! Soon we are on more familiar lower forest single track for a bit of flow, then time to haul back uphill on the fireroad, before blasting down and around the resevoir.

In good time at Sutton hall, flowers good, table chips needed to finally warm chilled riders.

mini axis of coffee and whisky, cold ride home.

Seasons are a changing