drunkcyclist2

Words by Eric, Pics by Slim

Crew; El Pres, Coley, Butty, Mr I, Dunc, BEB, Eric, 3 Sheds initially, Slim eventually!

Route: BL, NBR, Tea Shop, HooleyHay, Standing Stone, Sutton Hall

Conditions; Dry and cold.

Offs; BEB x 3

A lack of wind of the metereological sort was the deciding factor in going high tonight so we set off on a route Grande Direct to the Tea Rooms. The absence of the expected looney bikers on a clear and pleasant evening was very welcome as we enjoyed the climb. However Slim in his last week as an M56 customer was always running late and various communications ensued; “I’ll catch you up”, “I’m ten minutes behind you” lead us to hang around at an increasingly chilly tea rooms. After 15 minutes and with an absence of lights on the horizon we uttered his own immortal words, and set off for Shining Tor.

The climb to Shining Tor soon had everyone warm again but further comms suggested Slim was still only “10 minutes” behind so we waited again – well all those planning to take the plunge waited. 3 Sheds decided that the descent would be one slither too far and headed along the Yorkshire North Shore – brave move unless you are happy to fix snakebite punctures on your own. As some of the party started to show signs of hypothermia a light was seen heading up from the Cat – even Nino Schurter wouldn’t do that in 10 minutes but we waited anyway; so that we could hurl abuse.

Despite some misgivings about the going being in the soft to soggy category we headed for the descent and were soon hurrying through various levels of bog – but most of the way gravity is your friend. At the bottom most confessed to talking to themselves – “ weight back, keep your weight back, no further back back than that, further, oooooh…..sh*…..” As we regrouped at the bottom telling tales of scary eyes seen in the woods (Deer rather than Bully Thrumble, for those who have read Thursbitch) we were two chums missing. Eventually they appeared, BEB having fallen off 3 times. An examination of his tyres revealed the root cause – hybrids, bald hybrids, for a surface that required every ounce of grip available.

After the substantial amount of standing around tonight the clock was beating us and without sandwiches a quick re-plan had us heading towards Sutton Hall via the forest rather than the fleshpots of Bollington as originally intended.

As ever the hospitality at Lord Lucan’s gaff was fine, with at least two of our number struggling to cope with the fare. The shock came when after suitable lubrication it was decided that a round of the “whisky of the month” was called for before heading home. – The price of a wee dram has now reached that of a gallon of unleaded.

.

Words by Eric, Pics by Pete
Crew; El Pres, Slim, Butty, TJ, 3 Sheds, Mr I, Eric,

Route: BL, OBR, Charity, Standing Stone, Back of the Moon, 2 sided valley, Wildboarclough, A54, Tagsclough, Eagle and Child, Alpaca B’way, Hawk’s Nest, 3 Shires, Soggy Field, A54 again, , Cumberland Brook, Wildboarclough again, Standing Stone again, St Dunstan’s

Conditions; Dry and cold.

Stats; Eric – wonky jockies.

Offs; Non reported

In the warm glow of a couple of beers the previous week a suggestion was made of a sandwich night to allow a slightly longer ride. This coupled with unfinished business at the back entrance to 3 Shires and Mr I’s penchant for turning the simplest food idea into Gourmet Night lead to the “big picanic plan”.

The only planned part was the picanic and the target of Three Shires. After climbing up to Teggs we decided to carry on towards our primary target rather than get sidetracked. In hindsight that sounds like a rather familiar mistake which has been made at this point before. Nevertheless we pressed on for a route grande direct – straight line across the map. Well as straight as decency allows. Charity was safely negotiated before the going got a little tougher over Back of the Moon with a bit of a push followed by a bit of a splosh. Butty found the “Vicar of Dibley” sized muddy pool and was fortunate not to loose his seat as they say in horsey circles. As we descended the two sided valley the temperature inversion was dramatic to say the least.

Two choices from the valley – up the very steep bit by the old Post Office, or up the steep bit by the Rose and Crown – steep bit please. Time was ticking along and after the long slog up to the entrance to Tagsclough there ensued a bit of a debate about the wisdom of our plan – 8.45 and nowhere near the furthest point yet; and still a picnic to enjoy. Let’s press on and stop for a picnic at the highest point where the frost is forming. My Chinese friend talks of “unwisdom” The picanic was broken out with pies and a range of single malts keeping the spirits up before another chilly plunge down to Burntcliff Top and then dropping down the lanes to the Alpaca bridleway which is a fun drop down to the river and a less fun push back up, but it leads onto the Hawks Nest track which leads onto Three Shires – not a problem almost half way. The long descent to the bridge gave everyone a good shaking up, but not as much as the realization that this might be the first no pub TNR; the plan to ride big and miss kitchen closing time didn’t consider riding so big we missed pub closing time.

The logic of desperate men – which is quicker, Cut Thorne or the field exit? – the reality, it doesn’t matter, they are both a long way from home! The field was chosen and after a push and a fight with the firmly fixed lambing gate we were back on the A54 and heading off for Cumberland Brook. As we peddled wearily back along Wildboarclough at 10.45 we worked through the list of pubs, all probably closed by now on a Thursday. Slim and your correspondent decided that there was no prospect of a snifter at this time of night and took the direct route north, leaving the southern chaps and the Poynton mafia to climb back over Standing Stone and head dejectedly for the fleshpots.

Yet lo ……….or other biblical phrases, a welcoming light yonder; the long forgotten St Dunstan’s welcoming weary travelers until 12am – as the sign says. Butty arrived home before 2am so all is well, mission success.
Next time ….?

Words & Pics by Pete

Crew : Pete

Route : Late arrival at BL – Zig Zags – Teggs Nose rear entry and descent – Impromtu Rendezvous with the Peleton on the climb to the Smithy – Sutton Hall

Notes :

Another late arrival home from Warrington , coupled with the discovery of a flat tyre as I opened up our garage, resulted in a late departure. So a slack route with photo opportunities was selected. Here are a couple of the results….

Words by Eric, Pics, and G&T by Pete

Crew; El Pres, Slim, Doog, Butty, TJ, Stunt, Dunc, Big Nick, Gee (with beard !), 3 Sheds, Croxy, Coley, Eric,

Route: BL, OBR, Zig sans Zag, Murderer’s entrance to Tegg’s, Leather’s, Concessionary B’way, Narnia backwards, Charity, Snickett, Standing Stone, Nessit, Middle descent, Leather’s again

Conditions; Dry at last, Mackintoshes not required.

Stats; Slim, minor chain faff

Offs; Non reported

Pete was right, we should remember Dan’s birthday, not the other; and so it was an appropriately large crew who gathered at BL tonight. (wholly Eric approved on this particular occasion)

It was a blessed relief to be riding without waterproofs although most people admitted to overestimating the cold and as a result we were sweating by the bottom of the zig. Part way along the zig Slim remarked to your correspondent that this was the very location where the Presidential chain had shuffled off it’s mortal coil only the other week when – b’doing, so did Slim’s. If you didn’t know you’d say we were being watched by mischief.

The descent from Teggs proved to be a little sketchy with front wheels following their own calling on the muddy bit at the bottom. An old rally driver friend of mine always used to say – “crash backwards, it hurts less”. A short stop was made at the Leathers to order food and then it was on up the long slog to the bridleway and the witch’s cottage. Here we had to let the traffic pass; gets busy on a Thursday evening these days, before crossing to Narnia. Not sure who thinks that walking up here is quicker and more fun than riding round the other way but walk we did. Back on Charity we had to wait for the traffic to pass before joining the route – gets busy on a Thursday evening these days.

The snicket is now nicely washed out, almost back to where it was a few years ago. With time moving on faster than we were, it was every man for himself up to Nessit; sadly your correspondent, considering himself to be well placed mid pack took the scenic route only to find the rest of the crew assembled at the benches, Gin poured, ice and slice in, but anxiously awaiting the arrival of the tonic mule – oops sorry chaps. With all tonic used to the full, the gins still felt rather robust, with the second sliding down exceedingly easily – MARVELLOUS.

Soon thoughts turned to Katie and the girls, and to Dan and all the sunshine he brought to us and to the rest of the world.

Then it was time to go.

Some reported the ensuing downhill went very smoothly – others simply reported “what downhill”

Very soon we in our spiritual home in the Leathers, with the usual cheery banter; Dan would not have wanted it to be any different.

Words by Eric, Pic by Dunc

Crew; Dunc, Bernard, Eric.

Route: BL, New Buxton Road, sneaky wood, Windyways, Saddler’s Way, Hardingland, Witches Cottage, reverse Narnia, lower Charity, snicket, Nessit, central downhill, Bob’s bench, Gurnett, canal, Middlewood Way, Lord Clyde

Conditions; Windy but unexpectedly dry.

Stats; Eric, knotted chain

Offs; Non reported

With hurricane Gertrude, or whatever the Met Office is choosing to call wintery weather these days, forecast to bring chaos to the UK tonight we set off dressed for the worst. When we say “we”, we mean the three less than wise men who turned up. For the rest, the lure of après ski or a warm sitting room was too much.

Small Events Bernard (SEB) arrived on his son’s bike as when he unearthed his own it had flat tyres. Choosing a sheltered route we headed up NBR and into the sneaky wood. Followers of the turf would have described the going as soft to un-rideable, we preferred un-rideable with additional adjectives. The route by Windyways gave fabulous views to the west and a stiff push into the teeth of Gertrude.

The big rocks at the top of Saddler’s were slipperier than usual but Duncan lead the way, solid forks no hindrance to superheroes. As ever Hardingland proved to be the macho challenge of the evening with everyone gasping at the top. Performance was hindered by being overdressed in waterproofs and boil in the bag trousers; with sweat pouring we realized that in the words of Monty Python “the weather man was lyin”. We could have got away with jerseys. The next climb was reverse Narnia which had the added challenge of avoiding crazy mountain bikers descending – whatever next.

We stopped at the shots bench for a very pleasant drop of Glensomethingorother from Duncan’s hip flask. There’s something special about an outdoor snifter with good mates on a wild and wintery night. Exiting Narnia we joined the stream of traffic going down the lower end of Charity. SEB was pleased to reach the bottom of the snicket without drama.

Not that it was a race but it felt good to catch and pass another group on Nessit. On the central descent your correspondent found that his pedals no longer went round. Further investigation revealed a chain resembling a Christmas cracker puzzle which was difficult to untangle and more difficult to understand how it happened.

Back down to Gurnett and onto the canal for a sprint to the Middlewood Way and on to the Lord Clyde. SEB had opted for an early bath; it wasn’t that we had opted for a Bernard unfriendly hostelry!

We were made welcome in the newly refreshed hostelry although our food needs didn’t trouble celebrity kitchen; a bag of crisps complimenting Old Speckled Hens