Words by Alex, Pics by Pete
Crew: El Pres, Dunc, Slim, Mr I, Stunt
Bench: Nick
Pub: Kersh
Route: BL, New Road, Chazza & Extension, Standing Stone, Shutlingsloe gate, singletrack to the S bend, Nessit Bench, standard descent, rezzies, St Dunstans.
Conditions: Light rain, low cloud, poor vis, heavy rain later.
Stats: off (Dunc), Puncture (mr I)
Notes:
Dan’s bench has been installed in prime position on Nessit hill, so Dunc provides the G&T, and El Pres the frozen citrus for a Celebration ride.
Let it also be noted that Slim was first at BL on time and ready (at BL but not out doesn’t count mr I)
Weather front has gone through according to the radar, but there is light drizzle nonetheless. Heading up we are in cloud well before walker barn, and bar mounted lights are going the be the only useful ones as visibility is down to about 10 feet.
At the start of chazza we note that all bikes are orange (one way or another) although vive la difference as we have 3 sussers, one hardtail and Dunc’s big wheeled rigid – which “I need to ride more as its so good every time I ride it”.
We head on up having decided against a 2 sided valley loop, the pause being long enough for Mr I to get cramp!
Chazza descent reminiscent of riding 10 years previous on pathetic halogens – still challenging despite the improvement in bikes.
Extension greasy and with recent tractor tracks also unexpectedly muddy in all the wrong places, one off and several dabs reported at the bottom of the oven.
By Standing stone we are well ahead of schedule, but there is no point going high, and any descent will lead to an uninspiring climb.
With a small posse and a lot of gin, we decide to do what Dan would have done (maybe) and have 2 g&t stops 🙂
The trees near the shutlingsloe gate have provided enough cover to keep the light precipitation off, so we cluster there for round one.
Hold the front page shocker! Comms failure extrodinaire!! its Hendricks Gin….and we’ve brought lemons!!!
Heads hung in shame we make the best of it, and find some of the lemons are actually limes, so go with something green as the best of a bad lot. Hmm smooth 🙂
El Pres tried in vain to persuade us to MTFU, but its FI instead, and off towards nessit on the singletrack.
Tree Down!! not trail sabotage, but a rotten pine has collapsed across the line, and there is not easy way round. Stunt suggests…as we have time, that we should move it.  It is quite a substantial bit of wet timber..and there is more than a bit of mockery to the idea. However mr I is on side and after some “to me” “to you” chuckle brothers comedy we actually manage to get it parallel to the path and return the route to “cleariness”.
Fortified with community spirit its a quick blast up the S bends, and the cloud clears a hit so that for the first time we get a view…Cheshire plain lit up in front of us, and a rather fine bench to inspect.
Geeky admiration of the fixing method, proper joinery, and carved sunflowers and a bike.
No response for the maybes on WhatsApp, so we crack open the Gin for round two, only for a mysterious light (moving wrongly for either bike or walker) to turn out to be Biggus Nickus fell running up in the “Nick of Time” (I’ll get my coat)
Top weird undercloud lighting effects very moody.
It’s starting to rain again, so the Dunny is proposed after last weeks visit, although proposed Pizza meets demands for curry and rant about Mr I’s lunch (a well known pizza chain “product”.
El Pres and Stunt get to the smithy and it’s all dark behind…rain is getting harder..bravely they head down to make sure food will be ordered.
Its hissing down within minutes, and proper woodburners are very welcome. Pizza (including curry topping especially for Slim) via app from Macc Flames.
Comms link re-established – we are slightly concerned that Pete appears to have been punctured by Mr I! It turns out that punctuation has been passed over in the interests of freezing fingers. A new record of 8 tyre levers (3 broken) says everything you need to know about punctures in inclement weather.
Wreckless uncharacteristically odd, but Cheshire cat and Banks much better. Guiness or Hobgoblin crisps a revelation!!!
Pizza delivery not forthcoming, El Pres (frequent customer) rings up and gets a dubious response, more crisps please Kersh who has arrived in Antoine de Caunes casual chic just in time to get the next beers in.
Pizza arrives shocker, and some token free garlic bread. We’re not sure we are going to eat it all, but we are saved by the landlady who (being out on the razz) has the munchies..
A final short ahead of venturing out – luckily mostly dry kit, and its stopped raining!
First BBQ within a couple of months and clocks change this weekend 🙂