drunkcyclist2

Words by Alex, Photos by Pete

Crew: PTD, El Pres, Butty, Mr Inc, Bern, Slim, Stunt

Pub: 3 Sheds, Dunc & Joe

Route: BL, New Road, Chazza, Narnia, Hardingland, Kings Head

Conditions: Cool & cloudy lower down, Raging winds higher up.

Notes:

A dull cloudy kind of day, but forecast is dry, and assembling at BL it’s an innocuous kinda evening.

Bern arrives in full winter gear wondering if he’s overdressed, as the rest of us a showing some (very pasty) leg flesh between three quarters and socks.

PTD arrives on freshly maintained kermit five, also looking equipped for winterness…what ho & why Que?

…well i rode up to charity last night and there was this nasty wind…eyes to the skies..seems ok here we think.

Route choice is debated even longer than usual, due to the state of the forest, the state of the trails, the desire to do something a bit different, and the fact that much of the field had ridden all weekend.

By the time Slim is off the phone El Pres has taken charge and suggested Cat then Goyt…off we set.

Bern shoots off the front like a man possessed, the rest of us settle in for the long grind.

Rounding the corner at Bull Hill, the conditions seem much  gloomier than normal, with atmospheric backdrops of the lower hills in mist and cloud…Hmm maybe going high is not such a good plan. Stunt and Butty debate trying to catch Bern before Charity to give us a plan B option, but the bolt is now a speck closing in on the chazza turn whist they are only just onto the straight before walker barn..

Sensibly Bern has stopped (as he is hot) at the layby not long afterward, by which time the wind is really biting, and he then needs to put it back on again. We catch up, a council of war decides that A PTD was right, B many of us are not wearing enough clothes, and C Chazza it is,  we turn back.

A large group of other MTB’ers is ascending into the cloud ahead of us, and we briefly overlap as they regroup at the start of the offroad. There is much bleating (of sheep!) by this point, and the wind is now raging in the trees and we are in cold nasty cloud.

Outerlayers, buffs and the like are hastily donned, but some are less prepared than others, we set off to keep warm as soon as we can.

A split camp at the top, Butty and PTD lead the majority through the sneaky singletrack to Narnia, whilst Stunt and Slim take route one down chazza and across (wetter but faster!)

Spooky mist = great photos as the rest eventually emerge…wind damage making the route “interesting”

Tricky light until Witches cottage – lights needed to see in the gloom, but anything remotely bright causing glare in the mist!

Butty drops a clanger at the gate onto hacked way lane…as a mere 7inch spanner slips from his bag (no relying on multi tools for this man!)

Hardingland dry and loose, we get overtaken by the other team at end past the stream, Mr Inc despairs of cheap light fittings, and El Pres discovers a puncture as we are about to set off for the pub.

Early at the Kings Head, although glad of the warmth. IPA and Speckled hen are the answer, Burger envy, 4 puddings (top crumble!!) shows how many needed extra calories to replenish the reserves used to keep warm.

Great to see 3 sheds, Ribaldry had already broken out by the time Dunc appears, and Joe joins us in the Pub this week having threatened for several!

Winter is not finished with us yet! …but things could all change for next week???

Crew: El Pres, Troll, Butty, Stunt

Pub: Dunc

Route: Rainbow Bridge, Endon House climb, Lidgetts Lane, Bull Hill lane, Tearooms, Shining Tor, Pym Chair, Jenkin Chapel, Dead mans hill, Poachers

Conditions: Cool, Dry, Strengthening breeze

Notes:

It may technically be spring (equinox on the 20th) but not much sign of springlike weather, although “not raining, above 5C, not too windy” is as good as it gets of late!

A small crew, with plans to go high, partly for variety, and partly because the forest is going to be mostly out of action for quite a while.

Rendevous at RB goes well, Butty arrives with the still caped crusader Joe as we are overlapping with his commute once again. We put the world of baby chick management to rights! (well it is nearly Easter)

Phil arrives having managed to park at the right end of town 🙂

We choose a tearooms goyt plan, and head off, early worries about soft tyres ,squeaky bottom bracket & rubbing brakes soon banished.

Skies are cloudy with no moon evident, light in the west and glow from the plains, and snow bones against the field walls, makes for a slightly eerie atmosphere.

Breeze is picking up, but mostly cross to tail on the climb to the tea rooms, our small crew stringing out a bit, so much riding in ones own thoughts. Bright lights from walkers seen on Shutlingsloe, and the odd obscenity shouted in our direction from a small red car…Mr T???

Head wind on the final stretch to the tea rooms, extra layers rapidly donned, and a troll complaining of iffy quads.

Route replanned to avoid the climb out of the goyt…means up to shining tor and across the “Yorkshire Northshore”!

The wind is strong up there, a quick hunker down by the wall for Mrs B’s best parkin and some TNR winters gold, very welcome.

Time is a pressing so we hoist sail with the wind at our backs and head off.

Care over the waterbars (no one wants a puncture tonight!!) then it’s rapid going, even once off the slabs the trails are not too sloppy.

An amazing 15 mins later we are at Pyms chair, passing ducks in the puddle by the cattle grid!

Into wind down hill, some harder work on the hidden hills to the start of Ewrin lane, but then more tail wind for the final climbs.

Poachers for 9:10

Butcome gold rather quaffable, and Halloumi kebabs the meal of choice (even if table chips needed).

Dunc arrives on comedy BMX, a good degree of mild raucousness before braving the cold breeze on the way home.

Crew: PTD, El Pres, Slim, Butty, Troll, Stunt

Pub: Dunc & Nic

Route: BL, zig zags, Charity, Narnia, Hardingland, Church House

Conditions: Heavy Rain, lots of water, mud & some ice higher up.

Stats: 6 Brave riders, 2 offs, 2 lighting strikes and 12 extremely wet gloves!

This week dry and sub zero had turned to mild and very wet come Thursday.

Weather radar and falling barometers convinced several that twas a night to polish your cranks rather than venture out, but a wavering Butty is temped by the carrot of Winters Gold, and the Stick of Eric’s verdict on those not riding.

Cometh the hour cometh the Goat! Yes the Troll proudly brings out the Capra as new bike syndrome trumps iffy forecast.

Stunt is also still finessing setup on the KTM, and the rest are simply just manly for arriving whatever the weather.

Definitely an evening where winter is trying to show its full grimness.

Strike two (if the weather forecast is number one)..is the sudden and total failure of Stunts front light..it decides not to switch on again have got to BL all fine.

It gets stowed in a pack for trying again when its a bit warmer and drier.

Rain is quite light at BL, but by the time we have splashed our way up the zig, its time for full waterproofs.

Strike three..heading up the Tarmac to Charity proper rain starts to arrive sideways at high velocity, we shelter at the start of the off road section getting some respite from the trees, and share commiserations with 4 Nancy’s who are also defying Winter tonight.

Serious water running down Charity as we climb….snow melt as well as rain, and ice is still about too…as we go into the cloud!

Strike 4…Ice under the water on the way down just after the steepest bit…El Pres and Slim take heavy offs, and El Pres’s front light mount takes a bashing.

Counter strike…Winters Gold at Narnia Bench…with a toast of F*ck Winter!!

Tis not a night for staying out longer than necessary…as wet gloves are being squeezed of excess water before going back on cold hands (shudders)

Down to witches cottage without further incident, then Hardingland and lower teggs and to the warmth of the fire at the Church House,Wet, cold , battered, poorly lit and in some cases bloody, we have had a proper ride!

All the establishments remaining pies are ordered, washed down with 6X or White rat. Gloves and buffs adorn the fireguard (and there are regular ouch’s from Butty as he dutifully turns them – wet and hot is hurty!)

Dunc and Nic arrive..by car, and get some stick, but more for the Tartan jumper abomination adorning Biggus’s ample torso.

Tales of the evening, estimate the quantity of water absorbed by waterproof gloves!

the ceremonial showing of the presidential bloodied and bruised forearm, retro ribaldry and Laphroaig to finish.

Horrible relayering and still raining cats and dogs all the way home.

Good luck to Nic and Dunc on the Edale bike and run trailquest event on Sunday.

Stunts light never did come back on (warranty claim in progress)