drunkcyclist2

Crew: EL Pres, PTD, 3 Sheds, Butty, Stunt

Pub: Dunc, Slim

Route: BL, Chrome bridge, Bollin Valley, Prestbury, Chelford Road, Bradford Lane, Hocker Lane, Muddy Snicket, RHS Artists lane loop, Edgy “thornton” descent, Mottram Road & Oak Lane back to Prestbury, Legh Arms

Conditions: Wind gusting to 40mph taking the edge of the otherwise very mild 11C, muddy trails.

Stats: One stuck up dropper (Stunt)

Notes: Another small crew (too many TNR’ers working or wandering) and a route defined by not being blown off

..your bike (ahem)

The bollin valley is muddy, with exceptional slop at the Prestbury end due to tipper trucks having churned it to mush (Butty rather regretting coming to meet us from that end, next time he’ll wait in the cul de sac!)

Chatty ride up the chelford road climb, top tips from Butty on choosing a Physio (PTD having a shoulder injury from skiing in flat light)

Go for one with big hands (well I think it was one with Big Mits that I heard)

At the top of Bradford lane, stunt discovers his KS lev is rather firmly stuck up! not ideal given what is to come..

Indeed top of Bradford is muddier than expected and this does not bode well for the softer trails.

Gloopy is the snicket, and the RHS trails are hoof churned slop fests which even the tubby tyred riders are struggling with. Lower down we accidentally discover a grassy sandy area with great chutes – which is actually a shortcut into the exit track to the Owl.

But the biggest news of the night is that after struggling to find the start of the main Edge descent, we do finally find the fabled “go right halfway down” Thornton descent!

Mutinous murmurings about Swiss Hill have been pointedly made all night, and given the headwinds to get back it’s a no brainer to head for the pub at 8:35. It is a long slog, although early signs of spring in snowdrops here and there in the verges.

Arriving at 9 we just make food (which is closing early..Coast seems to be hitting the Legh arms hard). Ceap Wizard ale, Pricy Peroni, and El Pres gets food envy with the rather underwhelming portion of risotto being outshone by a the burger with humungus quantities of chips and salad. Pete is lucky his food is still hot by the time he and Dunc arrive (we have been looked after very well), having escapes the clutches of the back of kerridge which being super soft was not as quick as they thought!

As usual the arrival of Catalytic Dunc takes us from Taxing talk to the bottom of the barrel (or was that already reached in the San Fransico topic just before they arrived!) Much chortling ensues, before the IT crowd get all misty eyed and passionate about their geeky pasts.

The customary “Dear little flo..” announces we have left the area..still 9.5 degrees after midnight!!

What weird weather next week?

Words by Alex, Pics by Pete

Crew: El Pres, PTD, Slim, Butty, 3 Sheds, Stunt

Route: BL, Zig Zags, Windyways, Saddlers Way, Lower Teggs, Smithy, Ressies, White Rabbit Ascent, Singletrack back down through the DH course, fire road past the logged area, new campfire spot, various routes back to the paths & ressies, Sutton Hall.

Conditions: Cool, Damp, very soft away from well drained tracks.

Notes:

Stunt posts a time to meet him at the new campfire for flaming xmas pudding, PTD and Butty each bring half the ingredients for rusty nails.

Stunt heads there direct having run late with his logistics (and upgrading bike)

Crew head up hill and down dale in a direct’ish kind of route to meet up.

A good night for wildlife spotting,owls a hooting and several pairs/small groups of deer spotted (mildly creepy yellow eyes watching your progress if riding alone)

Despite being damp and c5 degrees, a lack of wind, and a lack of surface water means its not cold if dressed appropriately.

Cometh the hour cometh the man…and at the RV Stunt has a small fire, pre warmed brandy ready for lighting, warm pud, plates and shot glasses all ready!

Rusty nails served as the flambe is readied, delivered with impressive flame in both pouring cup and on said pudding, photographed, and then served.

Alpkit half and half pedals and 27.2 KS lev dropper post inspected on stunts bike (the chubster getting a dose of proper bike love),plus bikepacking geekery in titanium alpkit stove & anodised windshield, and niche folding chopping board…

More rusty nails, and a burning of the paper plates.

Winter campfire is something we should do more (although more people would need to bring dry wood)

El Pres does the official dousing (not that on sodden ground it was needed!)

Fun descent – half the crew opt for the very slippery singletrack option, the rest the fire road.

good thrash down, passing a couple of bikers in the stream near the lane between the forest and the ressies – cleaning bikes rather than unfortunate incident :-0

Urgent pumping required for both the chubby tyred boys (Stunt and Butty) – water bar burping the rear tyres. More needed at the pub…dirty rims not sealing properly!! (no one should have a dirty rim?)

Ligher bites with dense pudding already inside us, steak sandwich the right answer, sausages and mash almost too much.

The lack of a Dunc Ribaldry Catalysis meant that we had to work hard to lower the tone, prior to which we discovered fascinating facts on adhesives….Araldite was invented as a dental adhesive (but gives off nasties so not actually used for such), and false nail glue is very effective as an emergency tooth sticker -inner!

Pete almost starts to stack zeds, but is persuaded to have a welsh whisky before the ride home.

Chubby rims seem to have sealed, but do lead to some more rapid riding home than normal!!

Words by Alex, Pics by Pete

Crew: El Pres, Butty, Dunc, Mr I, Slim, Stunt

Pub: Nic

Route: BL, Buxton Road, Ecton Av snicket, Rainow Road, Double Track and wiggle, Lamaload Dam, Hoolihey Lane, Saltersford, Pym Chair, Wingather Rocks, Wood, Taxal Edge, Kettleshulme, Road to Robin Hood.

Conditions: Frozen, Clear, Breeze building later

Stats: 1 Off  (Butty)

Notes:

The monday crew ride again! except for TJ who is in search of snow…

El Pres takes charge of route planning and declares Taxal…which seems ambitious.

Starting at BL we head for the Robin Hood to collect Mr I who has cunningly parked near the finish! this prompts the first chunterings from Butty (who has now ridden further than he needed to).

The snicket to Hurdfield proves that the ground has indeed refrozen after a brief thaw of the sunny patches earlier in the day, it also shows Dunc that leaving your tyre levers wedged on the outside of your under seat pack is not a good plan (one picked up, one lost forever).

It may be the monday ride, it may be the thought of the route to come, but already it’s a slog uphill to Rainow, and more Butty chunterings brings sharp rebuke from El Pres!

Any thoughts of route change are banished as excellent work by our leader negotiates food at 9:30 in the Hood, and its onwards on the “most direct” (but not necessarily easiest) route to Pym Chair…up the double track before Smith Lane.

Talk of a track to Smith lane and the top of the dam turn out to be just that – height is lost down to the treatment works and its a long long trudge up the Dam slope, with frosty grass being somehow sticky!

Back to Hoolihey lane and the first ice on the road…the gutters have been running with water during the day, and it’s now sheet ice in patches. Care is needed to Saltersford as occasionally the ice crosses the road!

No-one has the energy to curse the Pym’s Chair climb, but we are all very pleased to make the top. Views are crystal clear, a hint of could building give a moody moon, mars and venus out too.

Library Photo of the view to Windgather from Pym’s Chair in daylight

As soon as we are regrouped it’s off across the moor – frozen is fun! but watch for the odd icy patch (and frostly planks!) To add interest some of the wettest sections are still muddy, its fast mostly..which may account for Butty somehow managing to be caught out by the only tree there!?

A nip of winter warmth just before the rocks (well sub 5C rules apply!)

Sticky frosty grass is good down to the woods.

Digging deep we press on and push up to the start of Taxal (exchanging a bit of banter with a couple of riders higher up)

More rapid singletrack and much concentration needed (especially for the vehicle ruts right at the end!)

Amazingly we have 45 mins to get back to the pub, its something of a TNR ritual for a sub zero slog back from Kettleshulme in January, there is nothing for it but to grind it out. Tired bodies and minds are not amused by the head wind that appears towards the old Highwayman (just when it should have been getting easier with the slope!)

In on time, job done, Plum Porter or Burning Gold, and generous portions of food (made short work of). Biggus arrives to add further cheer and prove that the axis of ribaldry lies between him and Butty! Talk of the Jura, a wiki tour of notable macclesfield folk (including convicts, glamour models and cricket correspondents…but not Pete’s assertion about the guitarist from M people!)

Stunt’s suggestion for drone racing on a campfire night is poo pooed (but only on the condition we would need about 20 because we would crash them all instantly!) Maybe we should try something simpler (like ax throwing!)

All too soon it’s time to head out and enjoy the Oakenbank decent (well apart from El Pres who had a more direct route home) eventually we wait for Pete who we remember has no phone, and it’s a slow pootle home.

Stats will show it wasn’t quite a Munro night…2700ft and 21 miles, but by ‘eck some of them feet were tough ones!

Honorable mention for Pete for having already done this week: Monday ride, a 3 hr  TJ Wednesday road ride,  lots of dog walking, and not complaining once on the ride! (also giving the rest of us some recovery time at the regroups, of which he got very little!!)

Fingers crossed for more cold and clear nights (maybe even some snow?)

Crew: PTD, Slim, Butty, TJ, 3 Sheds, Mr I, Coley, Croxy, Stunt

Pub: Nic & Dunc

Route: BL, Rainbow Bridge, Middlewood way, Bolly back streets, snicket to Poachers, Bakestonedale road, Gritstone Trail, Sponds Hill, Dale Top, Quarry Descent, Birchencliff, Styperson Woods, Sneaky Slither to Middlewood way, Vale.

Conditions: Mild, Light rain higher up, very wet & muddy trails.

Notes:

Another night of clouds, rain and muddiness in prospect, but a southerly breeze might just keep the hill fog at bay.

Decent crew assembles (including we welcome return of Croxy!) and Butty takes the routemeistering lead.

A nice bit of variety on the way to Pott Shrigley, and then due to likely ground conditions, a rare road climb to the gritstone trail. By the top the odd fleck of dampness in the air had turned to proper rain, although cloudbase higher than the hills. Waterproofs on (many unzipped due to lack of coldness), and onwards to Sponds.

Any thoughts of Bowstones and into the Park are abandoned as the ground is saturated, even the short traverse to the next trig point is incredibly muddy, and the whole area flecked with grey paper waste.

Time for downwards slithering, tubby tyres leading the way, hilarious lack of grip especially either side of the big double track mega ruts.

Decent views from the top style, even though not the weather for hanging about. The quarry descent very good with extra slippy challenge, some are faster than others, but all down safe.

Mud rinsed from Tyres in the Birchencliffe watersplash, before re coating in the Styperson woods 🙂

A final bit of gratuitous filth via a cut through to the Middlewood way (which almost claims Mr I in comedy slippage and over recovery barbed wire near miss!).

Down into Bolly and the Vale..which as luck would have it had space and time for food ordering (just!)

Soon the White Nancy has been drunk dry, Eastern Nights is not far behind, and Food devoured, when Nic & Dunc arrive! More co-incidence as Coley has brought a Modern T@ss collection which means that Ribald behaviour is again amongst us (or at least this end of the table).Slim’s is reduced to Basil Brush mirth on more than one occasion!

The sensible end of the table leave early (as promised), axis of evil prevented by lack of tavern flexibility (maybe just as well).

Next week cocktails in the forest and Crimbo meal 🙂