drunkcyclist2

Words by Alex, Pics by Pete

Crew: El Pres, Troll, TJ, Dunc, Slim, Stunt

Dinner: Bern, Mawds, Joe, Lee

Route: BL, New Road, Charity, Extension, Cat, Danebower Hollow, Cumberland Clough, Standing Stone, Nessit Hill, Ressies, Coalpit lane, Bern’s.

Conditions: Cool & Dry

Stats: 2 Punctures (Troll & Stunt)

Notes:

A quiet pre ride build up this week (mostly taken up with holiday travel tip swaps!) before Bern delivers a fantastic bombshell – Can’t Ride – Can Cook!

Well it would be rude to refuse, Dinner at 9 (non riders welcome) , El Pres takes charge of ride.

Crew assembles under clearing skies (much better than expected) and immediately de layer as its not a cool as predicted.

Stunt tweaks a brake caliper to quell a noisy front disc on the returned chubster with newly compliant fork.

El Pres declares a classic route and we’re off.

Great views across the plain as we climb, it is still a novelty to be riding in the light 🙂

Conditions on Charity are excellent – dry, but not loose – fast and fun!! Troll tells us there were some sharp rocks up there though..

Extension is sketchier than usual with large rocks in unhelpful places…amazingly we all make it down in one piece.

Light from the bottom’o’t’oven is gorgeous…even if we then realise the view we are admiring is the climb we now have to do.

Once again the breeze is at our backs to take the edge off the long haul up to the tea rooms, where it is time to layer back up rapidly.

By the top of the tea room climb the wind is literally whistling through the spokes!

Danebower also nicely firm and dry, uber fast too…and it’s still light!

Lights on to be seen on the A54, new fence posts have appeared half way down the first section…a future hazard?

Troll discovers a front puncture at the (traditional) gate, and despite blaming all those darn sharp rocks…turns out to be a tiny thorn.

Having had to use his tube last week….yes he has no tube, and although slightly concerned that El Pres’ donation may not be big enough (it’s a 2.5 inch tyre) and hence may cause the tyre to derim, it is safely inflated.

A group of riders appear and we chat as they regroup before they head down whilst we are attending to Troll’s tyre.

We are soon leap frogging them on the descent…THE ROCKS…..oh THE ROCKS!!!! fresh rubble including blocks a foot square has transformed Cumberland Brook, some of the riders in front are walking and muttering, we just hang on and try to find the lines…it’s brutal!

The leap frog continues at the bottom gate, Stunt discovers that his saddle bolt has come loose with all the pounding!

The two groups are mixed together now all the way up to standing stone, and then across to Nessit.

Good games to play are is it a plane or a planet (plane), and the Moon’s about to rise over there (oh no it isn’t) 🙂

Properly dark at Nessit, and our trail companions head down the white rabbit route, whilst we go down “the middle”.

Time has marched on, Bern is called (although luckily the food is a bit behind schedule), dawning acceptance that coalpit lane will be needed to be climbed, and that legs are getting tired.

Stunt burps his rear tyre on a water bar lower down, and then has the mother of all battles to reseat it…accompanied by a faithful TJ, it takes 4 stops and much pumping before it finally holds.

The rest are away to secure food and drink and the welcome of Bern.

What a feast sir! Roast chicken pieces on sweet potato, salad, garlic bread, tins of beer as far as the eye can see, cheeses, a huge homemade apple and rhubard pie (it was so worth the wait)

…and then the tray of multicoloured spirits…

A great evening of catching up with folk, tall tales of the ride, and an axis of “nicely relaxed”.

Sipsmith sloe gin awesome…some of the others more interesting…

Tis well past the witching hour when we trickle homewards

Words by Alex, Pics by Pete

Crew: El Pres, Slim, TJ, Mr I, Stunt

Pub: El Pud, Dunc

Route: RB, Endon House, Lidgetts Lane, Back of Kerridge, Rainow, Oakenbank, Pott Shrigley, Gritstone Trail, Sponds Hill, Quarry Decent, Watersplash, Pott Shrigely, Poachers

Conditions: 17C & Dry!!

Stats: One off for El Pres, one Mudguard faff for Stunt

Notes:

BAU restored after the “boys are back in town” ..although some are instantly off for other travels!

So having done the “Gay Paris” banter pre ride, it was time to get organised and ride.

Slim declares a Northern Massive and Rainbow Bridge start, its an incredibly warm evening for the time of year, and first of the Summer Time rides, so also light 🙂

Summer gear is dusted off, pale flesh is exposed, layering condundrums of the good kind.

El Pres arrives bloodied but not battered as a regulation kerb mount goes awry and ends with unplanned spiky hedge contact!

The troll arrives just before we ring him to find out where he is!

Someone’s been playing with proper machinery on the track from the canal to the farm, digging a bigger pond (little lake?) in the LHS field, and also flailing the hedges.

Stunt gets a humungus thorn in his tyre – but luckily is tubeless…and Stans stuff does it’s job!

More suprises as the Endon House climb is being tarmac’d! Smooth riding now to the houses, before the washed out top track which is of course being left “natural”.

TJ on first name terms with lady runner (another satisfied lighting customer)

Back of Kerridge drying nicely – which does mean that the occasional muddy patch is hit at inappropriate speed..

The track to the Rainow road still a mudfest though.

Oakenbank fast (watch out for dogs!) and lights on at the end, mostly to “be seen” at this point.

Whilst Stunt applies more zip ties to rattly mudguard we discuss route..

TJ suggests going high to the Gritstone trail (just to prove he does know where he is some of the time!!)

Yup it’s a long slog, but on road we make good time, light at the top perfect for moody shots from Pete.

The doubletrack is pretty dry, and the 360 viewpoint at the top is worth the effort too (Sadly nothing to celebrate it with this time)

Big soft patches across to the trig point (more photos…does he think we are male models!!)

TJ leads us downhill – and almost astray on the hidden line of rocks…its softer and softer the lower we go, and line choice on the ups and downs of the rutted track are important.

Properly dark on the ground…but not in the sky because we can see so far West (a bit weird).

Quarry descent very good – grass is dry!!

Poachers for 9 and beat the nancies to the first food order 🙂

Donne or BGSips (or Pernoni!)

EL PUD HAS CYCLED TO THE PUB SHOCKER!!!

Tis good to have the prodigal returneth, and steer the conversation wayward…

Unusual world records (83 and 222) lead El Pres into a googling world from which he doesn’t really escape all evening!!

Dunc arrives having made Nancy aquiantences at Hit The North last weekend.

Axis of evil descends, Kwakery and a proper 6 whisky taste test (we all fail…more practice needed obvs!)

Still 14c past midnight…welcome as it is, likely that the weather gods are teasing.

Welcome to Summer Season (of the BST variety)

Crew: Mr I, 3 Sheds, Coley, Butty, TJ, Stunt

Pub: Dunc

Route: BL, Zig Zags, Teggs, Smithy, Charity, Narnia, Hardingland, Langley ressies, Smithy.

Conditions: Wet start, then still,  hill fog higher up.

Stats:  one lighting failure

Notes:

After “almost a summers day” on Wednesday, fate can be a cruel mistress…the rain begins to fall c6:15pm and is heavy enough for Butty to deploy his Dutch Rain Skirt!

Mutterings about the wisdom of being out begin (yes 3 sheds is out on a wet ride!!) a route is rapidly decided upon, weather geeks predict circa an hour of rain, and we are off!

As usual 3 Sheds is off in the distance, the rest of us strung out in 2’s and 3’s (ok one 2 and one 3 for the numerical pedants).

There is light still in the sky, glowing faintly orange through long slits in the distant blanket of grey clouds, suggesting an end to the rain is literally in sight. Closer in the bright blue and red neon of the Macc Charter Fair can be seen (and heard!)…is that where El Pres is we wonder??

More wondering as we regroup at the end of the zig…as to whether our lone leader has Zagged?

Given his demeanour (de moaner?) earlier we guess not, and at the turn we see no lights on the bridleway. Of course he has manned up and taken the haut route, he smugly rejoins us at teggs entrance.

Not a night for the grassy ascent, we stick to the better surfaced trails. Teggs descent ok up top but very slippery lower down.

Rain has now stopped, so time to order food (to the rather bemused group of post work drinkers) and continue.

Selling the benefits of one big climb then lots of decent, we head up the road..and find that Frog avoidance is required, Spring is definitely upon us 🙂

The lack of trees to the left means we spy more bikers exiting onto Hacked Way lane and heading for Hardingland (unless by some weird space time warp -it is indeed us a bit later on!)

We are steaming hard by the time we are through the gate (a stink of sweaty gentlemen??) and are grateful for the unexpected need to stop and move off the road to let a tractor pass. He’s gritting the road which seems a bit extreme given the mildness of the night..

Our self generated mist is soon replaced by the real thing and Charity is done in poor vis, but only enough to slow us slightly. It’s actually worse on Narnia as a thick blanket hugs the hillside.

Butty discovers his pre ride prediction of future failure has come true – a loose battery pack has slid back and pulled out the wires from the battery! and on the one night he didn’t bring his trail side soldering iron too 🙂

It doesnt seem to cramp his style having only the helmet light, as he flashes past others down hardingland (no badger tonight).

Speed along the lower tracks almost catches Stunt out on a thick mud patch, but we all arrive back at the reservoir steps (again) in one piece.

We have made excellent time, and although there might have been time for a quick cheeky lap of the resssies, appetites are needing satisfying and its into the Smithy for 8:40! (well we had been asked to be there for ten to)

Carol delivers beer price rise shocker!

Coley orders food shocker!!

Fire helps dry damp gloves (although we are almost too hot!)

Food is demolished (Mr I even does pudding). This weeks converstaion include consumer advice on foreign currency cards (that Halifax one apparently), and the liberal and varied world of Air BnB experiences!

A shocking rash of temperance and early finishes from half the party, which leaves Dunc to find a select few for last orders.

We may be even more select next week!

words by Alex, pics by Pete

Crew: PTD, El Pres, 3 Sheds, Mr I, Stunt, Slim

Pub: Butty, TJ, Dunc, Nic, Adrian and the dog!

Rout(e): BL, Zig, Teggs, Leathers, Lower Ressie, White Rabbit ascent, down between the downhill, back to Ressie, Road past the rangers station, bit of right then left, up the steps to forest chapel, up lower charity lane, Narnia, Hardingland, Langley Ressies, Sutton Hall.

Conditions: Cold & clear, very wet & muddy trails

Stats: 2 Offs (Pete & Phil M), One post pub faff (TJ)

Notes:

Typical changeable weather since last weeks post Doris ride, double figures, close to zero, rain, snow & sun!

Tonight skies were clearing, temperatures were dropping, wind was picking up and plenty of water was flowing from saturated ground.

Weather geeks may have discovered that the Met office mountain area forecast now includes specific places within the peak. Shining Tor was forecast for 2C , 28mph winds and feeling like -6!

This (and the fact that going anywhere not rocky would be a mudbath sogfest) meant only one thing – the Forest!

PTD had a cunning plan to do things a little differently (well pretty much a reverse of last week) which seemed to fit the bill.

Double shockers at the start – 3 sheds (aka Cold Hand Luke) arrives despite the lack of warmth, and Slim at BL by 18:40!! Joshing and banter began early :-)…and some things never seem to change..Mr I’s new lights have not arrived in time..rear lightage borrowed once more.

Prompt start then, and up to the zig – and puddles even bigger than last week.

Teggs extremely slippery (catching out slim higher up) with plenty of muddy drifting especially lower down.

Moon and stars are shining down on us, and at the gate for the start of the white rabbit ascent it gets too much for Slim and the Camera comes out for long exposure shots once the rest of us have headed on with our polluting lights chatting about Barry’s Franken E bike bodgery and attempting (failing) to do mental maths on battery life from volts and Amphours and the suchlike.

He’s soon on his own as its too chilly to hang about that long – following a couple of other riders we head down the ususal bits back to the road, then unusally turn right back up the road. Reverse track up and down on what is now our Right hand side is fun – especially watching slow motion off from Mr I, then PTD & 3 sheds following anyway!

Quiz time – which uttered the following?   a) Grunt  b) I think I may regret this  c) Sh*t!!

Having avoided collision with trees, metal cages or dunking in cold streams, time to cross over and do the other side, and up to the steps. Deer across the path lazily wander off as we approach. Steps trickier than usual – wood extra slippy, PTD manages a lot (many of us push from the first rear wheel spin out on the first step!)

A touch of road to Forest Chapel, and the wisdom of the route is validated by a blast of cold air (luckliy at our backs). Legs are also feeling it, and we are grateful that the climing is now mainly done. What’s app now tells us we have missed Butty who was trying to catch up on a gravel bike.

Picking our way past a bearded fat biker, and then his mates, up the stream that is charity to Narnia.

More bikers coming down (busy night!)

No mishaps do Witches cottage, fast down Hardingland, and a Badger vs Troll encounter almost causes disaster! Badger decides to turn around as Troll brakes hard, who then has to pedal hard again to prevent being rear ended by a skidding PTD!

El Pres is seeing visions of Mankini’s on Stunt as mucky rear obscures the reflective disco trouser “whiteness” in all the right places….(but it is a very disturbing comment all round)

Full speed down the remaining trail (big splashes lower down) and to the pub where Pete and Butty have just arrived. The Jan/Feb blues seem to have gone, as its pretty full and we have to pull tables together to get seated (well we start and the good lady of the house shows us hidden table flaps and table leg wedges and how its done!)

Kodiak gold has returned (and as good as last year!!) TJ soon joins us, and with Dunky and Nic not long after its a good crew and heartily rowdy. Adrian and the Dog also arrive for further colour 🙂

So much banter…including reminicences of “Northen Lads in London” where Electric curtains almost better than sex!….we almost miss the whisky finish, but PTD negotiates some rather smooth Dalwhinnie in the nic of time!

TJ breaks his chain by Tesco’s, and is saved by Butty’s expertise in shortening chains ..having learn’t that quick links are specific to the chain (10 speed will not fit 9 doh!).

3 weeks until the clocks change!!

Words by Alex, Photos by Pete
Crew: El Pres, TJ, Butty, 3 Sheds, Mr I, Stunt

Bench: Slim

Pub: Dunc & Nic

Route: BL, Old Road zig zags to Windyways, Teggs nose viewpoint, Smithy, Charity Lane & extension, Standing Stone, Dan’s Bench, White Rabbit descent, upper ressies, Sutton Hall

Conditions: Mild, light drizzle from 8, muddy trails

Notes:

A night with a simple mission, arrive at Dan’s bench with suitable G&T’s!

How hard could it be…?

Well it seems to take at least 4 TNR’ers to procure some cucumber slices…although there was no shortage of volunteers to provide Gin 🙂

After last weeks wintry blast it was positivley tropical..with even some bare flesh visible on some pairs of legs!

..but still not enough to stop 3 sheds heading uphill early to “keep warm”

Warm climbing up too, the zig particularly slippy with big puddles for cooling all the wrong bits 🙁

Regrouping below Windyways we see strange orange glow on the horizon..a huge fire?? Wondering what it is we head up the grassy ascent to the Teggs viewpoint, its due West…has disaster afflicted Fiddlers Ferry?? quick t’internetting provides no clues, and it’s not that warm to hang around..onwards.

Teggs is pretty dry up top, but very slippy lower down – many a muddly smile at the bottom.

Long slog up to Witches cottage, our natural sense of where we are still not adjusted to the lack of trees on the left hand side. Stunt having ditched the chubby bike this week is finding he’s somewhat faster on the five, opening gates for all…a mix of thanks and mutterings about lack of stops is his “reward”.

Fine drizzle appears of the “not very wet” variety. Finally we get to the start of Charity, and there are the last remants of last weekends snow in the shadow of the wall between the bushes!

Pretty wet lower down, but running fast, 3 Sheds finds it harder on the arms than expected…because he’s forgotten to turn on his front fork!

Extension it’s usual tricky self, and predictions of doom from the Troll seem to infect stunt who has a significant “dab”.

We can almost smell the Gin which helps us up the S bends to the top.

Pete is slumped back on the bench doing dark things with his camera (or something he doesn’t want us to see??) as he barks at the early arrivers to douse their lights..arty shot here? (Photographer’s edit – both those shots ended up out of focus !!!)

Bench becomes bar, layers are added, and El Pres drops the bombshell that he didn’t manage to get the Hendrick! (after all that cucumber faffing and Phnaar Phaaring too!) We do have Tanquary and Bombay Sapphire, lemon, cumcumber (to taste) plus some chocolaty mints in the shape of pringles (hmmm).

We drink to Dan, to Antipodean Announcments and just to being here.

The orange glow returns…Ellesmere port??

Too cold to hang around for Nic & Dunc (who sportingly update us that they have G&T and don’t expect us to wait)

White Rabbit descent…we forget how flipping fast it is (was that wise??) but all manage to negotiate the tricky corners with more or less braking..

Despite the relentless pace earlier, there is still enough in El Pres’s legs to race to the pub with Mr I and Stunt.

Arizona Dry wins over the “best name of the year so far” Laughing Juice. Steak Sandwhich continues to be the post brexit burger, Butty worries that the Gnocci is not substanital enough, but does find it excellent.

Ribaldry well underway ahead of Dunc & Nic, the bell goes all too soon…Oh and that blaze turned out to be controlled flaring at Stanlow!