drunkcyclist2

Crew: EL Pres, PTD, Troll, 3 Sheds, Bern, Butty, Coley, Croxy, Doog, Lee, Mark, Slim, Stunt.

Pub: Mawds, El Pud, Nick, TJ, Adrian & Biscuit

Route: MC, Zig Zags, Teggs Cocktail bar, Descent to car park, shortest route to Bob’s Bench, Leathers

Conditions: Mild, Dry, Muddy and moist trails

Our annual slack ride with festive snackery and colourful liquids was this year preceded by the pre ride test protocol, where being negative is a positive, and banter can be found in any situation #Teststripwoodbackgrounds.

Under an almost full moon, and breaks in the cloud, the riding contingent assemble at Muller corner. We have our first incident on the Zig when Doog breaks his chain…luckily we spot our missing comrade before we head onto the road and out of sight! Lee rides to the rescue, and we split into two echelons (cocktails cannot be left waiting). We have regrouped by the time we are through the last gate into Teggs, and despite PTD taking us on an optional uppy bit for those who fancied a bit of technical descent into the Bench, we are ready for the first course!

Phils Warm Sprouts on sticks with Satay sauce (roasted in butter and maple syrup) and 4 each! very delicious

Pauls “The orange one” A whisky mac with a twist to warm the cockles and wash down the nibblage

A wonderful vista as well, tis a great spot.

Time for the Teggs descent (with Butty catching us up) and plenty to focus on, main face damp and soft but not muddy, the grass at the bottom possibly the trickiest bit! Although getting your bike through the gate at the top led to one snapped rear mudguard for Lee.

Route one to Bob’s bench as somehow despite a 6pm start we will only be there at 7:30 ahead of an 8pm pub.

Second course is a bumper selection:

Homemade mince pies (with homemade mincemeat) courtesy of Paul dental nurse (El Pres had 3!)

Phils “The brown one with floaty bits” Butter infused spiced warm rum

Pauls “The green one” Gin and Blue Curaco, with Mango and passion fruit juice, and a touch of red vermouth (very smooth)

Croxy’s Cava for some fizz (also went nicely in the “green one” too!)

…suitably refreshed… time to head to the Leathers for the meal proper.

Chef did us proud, with sublime scallops, and properly prepped pheasant for 12 of the 17, and all plates left the table with no leftovers 🙂

Duchars, Landlord and some Rocking Rudolf meant no ale choice was a bad one. Lots of catching up with some of the country members, plenty of mirth. Those who could not be with us, know you were missed and not forgotten!

A serious AoE emerged led by a fired up Troll in full Ian Paisley voice, ordering multiple double whiskies!!

Doing our bit for the local economy had never felt so important, as we were pretty much the only clientele, and I think I recall us getting high fives from the barmaid as we left!

Somehow we all got home in one piece!

Crew: EL Pres, PTD, Bern, Troll, Croxy, Dr S, Slim, Stunt

Route: MC, Zig Zags, Walker Barn, Charity, Narnia, Lesser travelled fireroads to Forest Chapel, Standing Stone, Kirsten Munt descent, usual tracks down past Bob’s bench to the Smithy, Sutton Hall.

Conditions: Sheet ice in places, frozen crust to the ground, no wind.

We may have missed the snow at the weekend, but temperatures had again plummeted and full winter gear essential.

Bern was bringing beverage to celebrate his birthday, and the inital route plan was to head into the forest via charity, then go up the Shutlingsloe steps, ascent the Macclesfield Eiger for drinks, then come back across a hopefully frozen Pigford moor to the back of the Moon descent.

Team all assembled (with only Dr S making a possible ride status into mission possible!) we enjoy the zigs and the climb to finally get warm by the top. Croxy suggests we invoke a whoever first mentions health or pensions has to buy a round later (this is a sad reflection of our age profile these days!)

Descending down to Walker Barn there are flashing orange lights glowing on Charity Lane, and as we turn off from the main road we immediately hit sheet ice, and not far ahead is an old silver RAV4 sideways blocking the road. One occupant is gingerly shuttling back from the grit bin to spread salt under the wheels.

Once we have hiked our bikes around the obstacle, we offer assistance to push the corners while they try to get straight. After a couple of attempts it is done…we leave them to the “interesting” reverse back to the main road.

We negotiate a few more bad ice patches before reaching the offroad proper, and re-evaluate the route.

PTD leads us on the higher RHS of charity which is ice free other than the puddles, and only has one old patch of icy snow to worry about. There are lights in the trees, with more youthful riders sessioning the tricky tracks by the looks of it.

We turn in at Narnia, and abandon any thoughts of Shutlingsloe for the bench, where Bern serves warm mince pies, and steaming mulled wine in proper crockery!

More PTD route leadership takes us on fire roads less travelled (and sometimes very steep) to the road just below Forest Chapel, where we are relieved to see that the gritter has been past recently. One patch of ice on the exit to the standing stone lane, but nothing otherwise to fear.

Time is running short, so straight on the aross to the S bends (one owl flies across in front of us) , but then down the steps of munt, left turn, and the normal exit protocol round the ressie and out at the Leathers. One patch of ice after the little dam catches Bern out, but his careful packing saves the Crockery! Shoulder less so 🙁 , he heads home for media duties on the radio!

The remaining seven achieve Sutton Hall – which is very quiet, but enjoy superb ale selection, and carnivourous menu. New waiting staff, but same excellent service.

Pigs in blankets side orders for some! A youthful crowd of well dressed folk appear from the back room everyonce in a while, so there is some xmas party activity going on it seems. It triggers some fun discussions about the magnetic watch from the old Bond films! PTD begins to plan the xmas cocktails for 2 weeks time.

No axis of pudding tonight, but a fine whisky to fortify as we head out into fresh wet snow.

an Axis of P*ss was observed on the drive as the cold air obviously got to parts other beers couldn’t reach!

Crew: Slim, El Pres, PTD, TJ, Troll, Lee, Bern, Coley, Stunt

Route: RB, Clarke Lane, Redway past White Nancy and onto the back of Kerridge with loop back through Waulkmill wood to Ingersley Vale, poachers snicket, reverse Oakenbank, Kiskhill/Jumper Lane, Blaze hill, Kettleshulme Road, Bakenstonedale road, Gritstone Trail, Sponds Hill, Dale Top, Quarries Descent, Birchencliffe, Long Lane, Green Lane/Beeston Mount, Vale

Conditions: Mild, Muddy.

Notes:

Pete plans the route for a Poachers finish, but has to scramble for a reservation at the Vale when the Poachers cancel our booking (staff shortages?), with an earlier finish there is some doubt that we will achieve the plan, but we pop on live location for the Troll to meet us and set off.

Back of Kerridge very slithery, and mud covered tyres on slimy slabs not the most reassuring entry to Waulkmill wood, where Pete warned us of missing spaniel poo to the left hand side!

Gathering the Troll at the corner of the Poachers, the uphill begins with the steady gradient of Oakenbank, before the steep lane up Kiskhill, murky skies all day are clearing with clear views well across the plain to North Wales, and Winter Hill, but no sign of Holme Moss.

At the corner of Jumper lane and Blaze will we decide to go for it on the full route, and head onto tarmac proper to get across to the gritstone. A slight tailwind to help up the track and into the bottom of the clouds, vis is pretty poor but we (mostly) find our way to the trig point, and the right direction back down . We are soon out of the cloud on the uppy/downy bumps towards Dale Top, and from there take the ridge past the new plantation and down the slippy grassy rockiness to Moorside Lane.

No one risks the grassy LHS at Birchencliffe, and the smell of hot brakes at Shigley road. One last little climb to ensure we do Beeston Brow, and regroup at the Vale.

Food quality has improved of late here, and the pies looked a good choice, not sure we had earned puddings, but some cunning cross selling tempted almost half our number to succumb.

Early closing again at the Vale, meant that a final whisky did not count as an Axis of Evil (perhaps it was an Axis of Pudding night!), cold weather anticipated next week.

Amazing full moon with double halo through the cloud to light the way home.