drunkcyclist2

Crew: PTD, El Pres, Mr I, Dunc, Stunt

Pub: G

Route: BL, Old Road, Bridleway Zag, Walker Barn, Chazza, Narnia, Hardingland, Smithy, Rezzies, White Rabbit Ascent, Nessit, KM descent, trails & rezzies, Sutton Hall

Conditions: Steady precipitation, very wet trails, big puddles (so last weeks prediction sadly true)

Stats: Double rear light loss for PTD

Notes:

No matter how much you analyse the blue and green blobs moving across the country on the rainfall radar timelapse it doesn’t change the fact that its going to be wet for the ride! In fact the only question is how much and for how long(that will be plenty, and the whole ride then!)…Donning waterproofs (green is in!) those who had declared their riding hand all met as planned at BL, but conditions washed away any enthusiasm for The Big Ride to Backforest – to be replaced with more familiar forest trails and options as we go.

Checking El Pres has approved new head protection (nice Blue lid) and PTD specced DH minion on the front (tick) we get cracking .

Turning onto Old Road the tarmac is literally awash with water, and there is a decent stream flowing along the edge of the road! Not bothering with what will clearly be a mud puddle of a Zig, we slog up to the better drained Zag. Strangely visibility is good, and its not feeling properly dark yet (next week it will be light!!!). Warm now we all settle into our individual rythms on the climbs – Mr I off in the distance as usual 🙂

Chazza very wet as expected, and occasional mist patches add excitement, at the mudfest narnia gate there is at least some dry ground under the fir trees, which come in handy as PTD heads back up to find the important bit of his rear light, and El Pres walks up to help too. Much stamping of feet and flapping of arms only partially wards off cold fingers and toes inside our now truly wet gear. Light recovered its time for El Pres to face his nemesis on a speedy (to get warm) dash down Narnia (more mist pockets). No incidents this week (but someone has been busy with the dead trees across the lines either side of the step sections).

More motorway madness!!!! the tracks from witches cottage to Hardingland and Charity both smooth fireroad, who thinks this will make mountian bikers happy???? Well the rain is already beginning its erosive entropy magic..be great again in a couple of years hey.

Dunc sets new strava segment record as a result on the way to Hardingland, which is fast and bumpy, only to cross the stream to find PTD and Pres playing the find the light game again!! ..which they do, but PTD is banned from refitting it and instead its placed behind secure mesh on the camelback (sorted!)

Route decision now taken to ensure no pub slackery at the bottom, big puddles on the teggs nose trail, respect to the scouts hiking in the rain on the way to the smithy, and chase the fell runner around the rezzies (bike win on the flat, fell runners overtake you again on the climbs!)

More aggregate aggravation on the white rabbit ascent with fresh lumpy stuff most of the way up…man what a drag! Rain now hail, and topping nessit there is a hint of snow on the ground. Cursing the lack of any restorative spirit (but inspiring Mr I to introduce us to Whisky Macs later) its time to wipe the glasses and aim downhill.

Fast and furious fun all the way back, heads down to Sutton Hall, and as we park the bikes the rain stops!

Whisky Macs (Ginger wine + spirit)  instantly warming, new leather chairs are very inviting (although occupied), and Dunc orders tea.

Einstein fantastic (although in limited supply) refreshes the parts other beers cannot reach and the conversation gets very academic and lofty! Cameo from G, and epic failure to ride from Slim. Our tactic of handing wet gloves and buffs by the fire fails to shift the chair people, so we stay at the table and are entertained by peoplewatching instead 😉 Somehow its late and there is no option but to don wet gear and ride hard for home.

Still a good ride 🙂

From TNR 20-03-2014 All the Presidents Men

Crew: El Pres, G, PTD, Mr I, Stunt, Butty, Andy S.

Pub “b”‘s Slim, Dunc

Route: BL, full Zig zags, Walker Barn, Chazza, Narnia, Smithy

Conditions: Suprisingly mild and dry, Wet for Duncan, cold later

From TNR 20-03-2014 All the Presidents Men

Stats: 1 chain faff (G), 1 off El Pres

Notes:

Always a good start to a ride when the actual weather is better than forecast, and with the Spring Equinox only a day away, the light is still dusky.

This weeks fad appears to be MudHuggers for those of the Orange persuasion (no not a TOWIE joke!)

As usual its a Paul Plan for the route, with a chazza start and talk of the two sided valley, also familiar is the rapid route alternations suggested by G….whilst they are debate options the rest of us set off up the road after a quick comms to the newly back on the bike Slim 🙂

The change in the season prompts some de-layering at the top of the zig zags, before rapid cooling down to walker barn.

El Pres is uncharateristically up the tarmac to chazza like a rocket and when we catch him he tells tales of big beasts in the trees. We think he has smelt beer (or did he have a swift half stashed up there!?)

Chazza is damped down from last weeks dryness, but not slippery, however G manages to slip his chain on the roloff, and Stunt’s lock shakes loose. Regrouping (but leaving G to catch us up) at Narnia it’s a speedy descent, alternative lines to steps are flowy (if slippy) but the bottom gravel section is dry fast and loose….

A gravel off has a swooshy kind of sound that turns heads – red light on the ground, bike down, quick mental count – it’s El Pres!

He speaks up but isn’t getting straight up, so it’s clearly been more than a dab.

TNR CSI quickly establish that a) handlebars are now out of kilter, b) rear light is detached from bike (but working) c) the back of his helmet is badly cracked!Andy S does triage , whilst we check & straighten bike. Nothing of any immediate concern us but protective of our pres we decide to escort him to the pub to monitor him for an hour or two.

From TNR 20-03-2014 All the Presidents Men

The homely fire in the smithy, plus the wonderfully understanding Carol make it the right decision. Still protesting that he’s fine he talks up a soft drink to a shandy ;-). We settle with table whitebait (no prizes for guessing who ordered that!)  when Carol spots flashing lights on yonder hill – which turns out to be Slim attempting to signal G-A-M-M-O-N in “more sauce” code.

Rabbit pie also highly recommended, XPA flowing nicely, and a warm spot by the fire for a rather bedragged Dunc when he arrives.

Talk of an early bath (literally) for El Pres -who by now has worked out that he must have landed sort of upside down on his elbow, hip and shoulder having gone over the bars..and hence the back of his head then hitting the ground last, is nursing some aches and pains (road rash and brusing foreacast) Butty helpfully suggests the comic book remedy of raw meat on the afflicted area (politely declined ;-)).

The early bath spurned we finally prise ourselves out into a cold night, and El Pres is safely delivered home before the witching hour.

Winter officially over! and only one more ride starting with lights before the clocks change…so that will be snow next week then 😉