drunkcyclist2

Words by Alex, Photos by Pete, Dunc & Simon (the one above)

The Bretheren: Dinted Dunc, Bern, Butty, Dr S, Slim, Smiffy, Stunt

Route: Backeddisbury, Zag, Charity, Extension, Tea rooms, Stakeside old coachroad decent, Shooters Clough, Shrine ascent, Pyms Chair, across the moor to Wingather, Picnic, Taxal Edge, Kettleshulme, Bakestonedale road, Poachers.

Conditions: Dusty dry trails, sunny, chilly later.

Dunc takes leadership with an ambitious jumbo ride to take advantage of the amazing trail conditions. With instructions to bring your own butties and a jumper, we assemble at the bottom of the zag in sunny conditions and short sleeves.

Dr S brings out the E bike, and Butty has his range extender on. Dunc shows off a new cane creek rear shock which looks like a blinged up R2D2!

With the evening “a marathon not a sprint” the pace is sensible up to charity, where on our off road climb we are accompanied by an enthusiastic young black lab out with two guys. The one with the mullet has his arm in a sling…likely MTB injury?

The main lane is dusty and loose rock, the RHS is dry and fast, Dunc is testing out his new shock when he loses the rear tyre. Inspection shows a nasty vertical rim dint that has broken the bead seal.

How do you pull out a dent that big at the trailside? Bernard to the rescue with adjustable spanner, and pliers…but it is still not enough! oh G you will kick yourself for not being here…the solution is hitting it with rocks off the wall!!

Now the small matter of resealing the tyre, extra fluid from Pete (no sniggering!), valve core tool from Smiffy, CO2 cannister and the tyre is on – but leaking air at too big a rate from the dinted area. Time for the gooey wiggly worm tubeless repair kit from Smiffy (now rapidly becoming Inspector gadget) and his mini stanley knife. Gunk applied along the rim, more CO2 and behold – a fully inflated tyre! Top work team.

The ride down the rest of charity and the sketchy extension (with new lines on the side to avoid the rockfest) are a good test – and all is good at Bottom’o’t’ Oven.

Time to warm back up on the climb up to the tea rooms (we were in the chilly shade during the de-dinting). A heron spotted in the field to the left by the stream, and a cuckoo heard calling!

Curlews and lapwings seen/heard above the tearooms, and a pair of e motor trailbikes come down off Shining Tor throwing dust up in their wake.

The old coach road down to the finger post is dry and flowy all the way down, perfection.

Shooters clough is also dry – even the really wet muddy bit only has a couple of token damp patches, and the stream at the bottom has dried out to a few puddles (Errwood reservoir also very low).

The Shrine climb is also in as good a condition as it can be, we emerge onto the Street by Patelvis’s van (the indian elvis) before heading up to Pym chair and taking the gate to the moor.

More super smooth twisty loveliness all the way to Windgather, with a setting sun, a few climbers descending back to cars below, and time for a refuel.

Butty has some rather good Sangria, Dunc has brought sharing pork pie, Smiffy the mustard, sausages (including the Quorn…or was that Porn ones :-)) and charcuterie, Stunt offers empanadas! what a feast.

The bring a jumper request was wise as the temperature is dropping fast, and we are catching a bit of breeze. The skies to the west are orange and purple, and the light is wonderful.

At 21:15 hours on the clock, Dunc wisely polls for route from here, Taxal is non negotiable (too right), but the priest lane climb out to the moorside and mudhurst lane drag up to Bowstones look like a loop too far. We (gratefully) decide its road all the way back to the poachers for a pint instead.

Taxal has a herd of cows at the start, but then is wonderful, the light is going so lights are optional, and it’s a third wonderful piece of trail on this jumbo night.

Lights definitely needed for the ride back, instructions to regroup at the poachers.

Heading down Bakstonedale road we kept being flashed by the oncoming cars…nothing to do with our lights it turns out – sheep loose on the road, and not just a couple, a good couple of dozen down towards the brickworks estate.

Badger spotted crossing the road by Stunt and Dr S.

Poachers almost deserted – bereft of the Nancies, the other bikers, the harriers or the locals, just one group of guys who might have been travelling with work.

The blonde not bad for the lower alcohol brigade, the ruby mild a decent pint (although neither properly ruby or a mild!!) so we all dig deep for the pump of doom inception for pint number two.

Perhaps the decline of the pub might be summed up by the chalkboard above the bar trying to flog chilled italian red wine at £11 a large glass! ..perhaps to be quaffed in the beer garden where the furniture has been painted a trendy blue/grey colour!? We will send our local undercover reporter to dig into this story more…

In TNR news Dr S is moving to Kerridge! (no not the horsey 6.2 acres being advertised by White Nancy) but an end terrace near the Bull. Will need some fixing up before he can move in if all goes well with the transaction.

Ongoing debate on what to call non E bikes, it seems to have moved from acoustic to muscle to now meat bike!?..more evolution needed.

Bern gives us one ring (he was too tired for three 😉 was the lunchtime football to blame?) before we don extra layers for a chilly ride home.

Stats were impressive for the ride with it being an official Munro night of >3000 ft vertical climb, and Jumbo >20 miles (Butty had done 30 miles and 1300m climb from Poynton).

Smiffy gets home on 1% battery.

Dunc’s dilemma – keep riding the repaired rim/tyre or change the rim/tyre?

Overnight leg cramp stats awaited 😉

Monsoon season approaches…

Crew: El Pres, PTD, Butty, Dunc, Smiffy, Stunt

Route: Botton of the Zag, Walker Barn, Tea Rooms, Stakeside descent and along to Goytside Quarry, along the valley towards the Reservoir, up the track towards the carpark, right hand turn up the steep grass to the finger post for Shooters Clough, up the old coach road by the wall back to the tea rooms, Bottom of the oven, standing stone, sutton hall.

Conditions: Sunny & clear, slightly cool NE breeze.

Notes

The fine weather continues, perhaps a bit too cool for al fresco eating, but a good night to head up high and inspect the Goyt fire damage.

Smaller crew this week, with disturbingly high E content! The usual catch us up antics, which enables the E brigade to do fun things light Charity or Pym Chair to Shining tor to RV at the tea rooms.

Muscle bike (the new name for acoustic) equipped Dunc brought up the rear, but then heroically didn’t stop before heading up to the top track.

As soon as we could see over the wall to our right , the extent of the blaze was clear – it came right up to the wall!

The Stakeside path of rock and sand twisted like a pale snake through blackness on both sides, feeling like you were riding on an alien world (that smelled of bonfire).

The firefighters had done an amazing job to stop it getting into the trees (mostly) lower down, and from the Derbyshire bridge road you couldn’t see it.

Fun police have put huge boulders along the road by the old quarry to block off parking!??

An unintended split in the group had El Pres and Stunt waiting on the road for a bit, and they saw a big posse of the nancies, plus several other MTB and gravel groups, probably at least 40-50 riders in total – Goyt a popular destination this evening!!

We need to be at Sutton Hall by 8:45 (Leathers having not answered the phone), we are at the bottom of the climb out with an hour to do. We unleash team E to go ahead, whilst team muscle push up to the finger post before riding out.

Great views, great skies, chilly descending at speed to the bottom of the oven, before the short climb up to standing stone, and down through the forest (running groups out) into the setting sun.

Regrouping at Sutton hall at 20:41! – we hate to admit it, but the E Bikers had more fun tonight.

El Pres’s birthday tipple will be deferred to next week as we ran out of time for a stop.

Quite inside, Lucan always a good option, burgers all round (almost), and the high table!

PTD is getting to play with big percussive drills to dismantle the old bog at the Shrubberies in anticipation of the modern extension. Smiffy recounts how he used to motocross with Ratboy’s dad, hence how he knows Josh (and the chat at Dale top last week). Dunc is now a convert to electric cars (might be some time before that translates to bikes), and Titanic plum porter to finish off the evening!

Somehow we have ended up 3 pints good!

El Pres’s birthday tipple will be deferred to next week as we ran out of time for a stop.

Crew: El Pres, Dr S, Butty, Lee, Dunc, Smiffy, Slim, Stunt.

Route: Bottom of the Zag, Walker Barn, Charity, cut across to Narnia, trails from the Bench to the fire road, the “rollercoaster” to the main drag, Witches cottage, Hardingland, Lower Teggs, Leathers, reverse ressie, white rabbit ascent, LHS trail from the gate all the way back down to the bottom of the white rabbit track, singletrack over the wall, bob’s bench, lower ressie, Sutton Hall.

Conditions: Mild, still and dry.

Notes:

A fine evening for a ride, and a plan to pootle about in the Forest ahead of a Sutton Hall table reservation.

Arriving at the bottom of the Zag well warmed up we sketch out a route to take advantage of dry trails.

A little plume of smoke at the top of Charity Tarmac is investigated…it’s just past the post apocalyptic encampment in the corner of the field, and we think it’s a couple of dead sheep being cremated by the farmer…no one about, but it seems to be a well managed event.

Style points being awarded for most awkward fence traverse of the night – with Pete and Smiffy on the podium for wobbly midsections!

Firm and flowy all the way down to Narnia..where looking across past Croker hill a hot air balloon is clearly visible in the distance.

Butty takes us on a tour of the trails down from just past the Narnia bench (watch out for those low hanging spindly branches) and then through the thicket to the rollercoaster mini loop down to the main drag. Short climb back up to Witches cottage, before descending a very loose and dusty Hardingland.

There is enough time to make another ascent – this time to head up White Rabbit before coming back down the forest trails off to the Left of the dedicated bike route down at the fence. Yes it’s dry, but boy it’s a bit technical for some of us in places!

One boggy bit at the edge of the trees seems a bit of an anomaly, but we all survive.

Great sunset light as a backdrop to it all.

Regrouping at the bottom, the wall opposite the white rabbit track is down..for easy entry into the behind the wall tracks. Before we head over, a white hatchback and a black hoodied rider on a powerful ebike need to conclude their business before haring off down the lane! Dodgy dealings for sure!!.

Crossing the wall is as dodgy as we get to enjoy rooty twisty lines down to Bob’s bench and hence round and down to Sutton Hall.

It’s pretty busy, and there is live music being played! We are popped in the back corner, and settle in for some fine ale and a burger. The music is a little “pub singer” esque with a guy with a keyboard, and the cover songs rather short…it’s only when we read the notices on the chalkboards that we realise we are hearing the Name that Tune quiz night!

We are well looked after, and with an Easter Weekend ahead, a mini AoE do whisky before heading home.

No encounters with anthropomorphic rabbits reported.

Words by Alex, Pics by Pete

Crew: Troll, El Pres, Slim, Butty, TJ, Dunc, Smiffy, Stunt

Hot Lane: Ruth, Dr S

Route: Hot Lane, Top road, Newtown rd, Biddulph park rd, Pine lane, Gosberryhole lane, the Cloud, Gosberryhole lane, Bridestones, Biddulph park rd, Newton rd, Top rd, Hot lane.

Conditions: Dry trails, fairly clear skies, stiff breeze

Notes:

Troll declares a Biddulph Moor BBQ to tempt us into banjo country as the dry weather continues.

Logistics include arranging vehicles in the correct order for getaways (which is almost achieved first time)

Impressively we have seven riders ready to go before 6:30, with a rendevous with SmiffE (riding all the way over using his range extender). It could have all gone horribly wrong as our intrepid friend has ended up with his other half’s phone, and hence no direct access to group chat and live location!! But it’s an anti climax as we meet him on Top road within minutes 🙂

The ride plan is simple, head to the Cloud, and enjoy the trails in the woods. With dry conditions the windy woody ascent is a joy, and the rocky trail up to the Cloud is almost cleaned by Dunc!

At the trig there are some runners, walkers, and a couple of stripy tee shirt wearing lads on full susses who proceed to show their riding prowess with a lot of big air – whilst in close formation!

The wind is really cutting through despite the spring sunshine, so time to head down the other rocky trail back to the woods. Then swoopy berms and rooty bumps down to the bottom, another ascent..in which we somehow lose Smiffy (he’s lost a bit of his helmet and had gone back up to the trig to get it)..do the right hand side trail, find Smiffy again, then cross the main track for the really uppy downy flowy one.

Butty takes a poll re ascending for a third time, but to no avail, we retrace our route back to the road, and find it’s suprisingly downhill for a lot of the way. A short road section up to the megalithic Bridestones, with a crescent moon above, then road back to Hot lane for beer and BBQ.

Obligatory fruity cloudy ale in the mini keg, some Stout in the bottle, Leffe’s cooling in the bucket, logs on the firebowl, and watermelon and feta on the himalyan salt block for starters! Heaven on so many levels.

To fully enjoy the experience a “kenny coat” is needed aka smug jacket with hood, as the easterly breezes bite harder as the temperature falls.

Main course is a BBQ finished spit roast of chicken and gammon, with potatoes, salad, stuffing, and homemade chimmichurri! with fresh rolls. Yum.

Full bellies, inner glow from the beer, eclectic soundtrack on the sound system, and banter round the fire…all is good with the world (assuming you ignore the current state of the world).

El Pres and Smiffy are going to ride back, but we have had so much fun it’s almost midnight before they depart, and we leave the stayers to the selection of whisky that has suddenly appeared as if my magic.

Most excellent evening on all fronts, next time we promise to pop into cabbage cottage to see progress.

Words by Alex, Photos by Dunc & Alex

Crew: El Pres, PTD, Troll, Croxy, Smiffy, Lee, Stunt
Fireside: Dunc, Ruth

Route: Back Eddisbury Lane, Zag, Teggs main descent, then left where the two tracks join up the path to the top of the steps down to the ford, lower teggs, Smithy, reverse Ressie, white rabbit ascent, S bends then singletrack up to Shutlingsloe gate, steps ascent, Pigford moor, back of the Moon, Ferriser.

Conditions: Warm and Dry, dusty trails in places, cool breeze later.

Notes:
A welcome week of sunny weather = first campfire night of the year!
Despite some of the usual suspects being on foreign assignment to catch the last of the snow, we gather a respectable crew, the fine weather temping out Croxy!
Troll is in charge of Beer logistics, and Smiffy sorts Pizza delivery via son in law ?
Stunt sorts a route and we are good to go….with the other usual suspects running late ?

We are riding in the light under cloudless skies, a steady stream of walkers and dogs heading back to their cars on our entry to Teggs.
The descent is dry and loose, and with the sun now set, some lights are useful under the trees. PTD has persuaded us to explore the path heading left back up to the steps by the ford, as we’ve not done it for ages, and it should be dry.
He’s not wrong, higher up the shrubbery on the RH side of the path has been cut back to the stumps…showing just how steep the slope is should you come off the trail! Nice final descent – as long as you avoid spaniels ?

We are united with Smiffy and Lee at the bottom reservoir, and Troll at Leathers.
A chatty climb to Nessit is topped with Cuba Libre’s at Dan’s bench with some of Shaun’s triple gold medal winning rum, coke and a splash of line juice, very nice.

Continuing our theme of taking the path less travelled, it’s time to see if the singletrack off the bottom of the S bends is navigable…and it is (although there are still some spiky bushes in places). El Pres suffers a whippy little branch flicking his nipple – apparently it stings like you know what!

A final climb up the Shutlingsloe steps – mind the yellow frog on the slabs, then across the matting (or in several places “up slope” of it) to the narrow gate. The down and up to “Back of the Moon” in excellent condition! Choice of Red or Blue run along the ridge and down the slope to the main track from Standing Stone.

Team e head right to RV with Pizza boy, and the rest of us head to Ferriser to set up camp.
Trolls keg is filled with cloudy smooth slightly fruity ale (who’d of thought it?), there is a big box of Brewdog cans, a fire is quickly going, and fuel is foraged

Pizza’s arrive – together with garlic and herb sauce sachets, which “condiment Chris” enjoys so much that it splatters over his neighbours shoe!

Stars are super clear, plenty of satellites too, and long exposure shots capture many more than the eye can see.

Croxy is full of praise for the Altrincham everyman cinema’s 11:30am “Silver Screening” (with coffee and cake!) and for Black Bag ..no not the famous viz sheepdog parody – but Cate Blanchett in spy thriller!
Grumblings about Shimano Gravel/MTB brake incompatibility (Coley to the rescue with the special adaptor tool), and you know your offspring have borrowed your riding shorts when you find their bank card in your pocket ?
Brewdog stout not up to the high standards of Titanic Plum Porter or Wincle’s Old Hag, but the Elvis juice is always a highlight.

Dunc joins us, then experiences a moment of plastic “napalm” when the bottle formerly containing the Cuba Libre pops on the fire! Luckily its only a few leg hairs which get taken out (time for a roady leg shave?)
Plenty of ribaldry too, and a lot of poking the fire with a stick. Extra fun had breaking the long logs in two when burnt enough to do so (calibrated tap with heel of a five ten)

Ruth arrives, we heroically share out the last of the beer, and Stunt produces some whisky mac to toast in season.

Foolishly we head downhill through the trees once the fire is thoroughly doused, it may be dry (thank goodness) but it’s a bit of a mess, with more care needed than we may be capable of!

All riders accounted for, we pop out onto the fireroad, then bonus trail down to Bob’s bench and homeward bound (possibly overdressed).