drunkcyclist2

Words by Alex, Pics by Pete & Bern

Crew: El Pres, Butty, Bern, Slim, Coley, Mr Inc, Stunt

Campfire: Croxy, Dunc, Doog

Route: BL, Zig Zags, Charity, Narnia, Hardingland, Smithy, Witches Cottage, Charity, Campfire.

Conditions: Fine and dry, cool later.

Notes: The grey clouds of June gloom part for us (only just) as a fine sunny evening graces us with its presence!

At BL large packpacks are in evidence..El Pres and Stunt predictably with matching osprey esapists…one filled with clothes, the other with dry wood!

Mr Inc comes on hardtail for lots of climbing ..triggering a debate on which bike for C2C..and ending with route choice that would indeed have lots of climbing!

Slim arrives with Butty tradtionally a little late…this weeks excuse being “I now live in Bolly!”

Lots to look at on the zig zags, from the tall flower spikes of Foxgloves at the edges of the tracks to the calls of the swallows above our heads, and the patterns in the fields. It does finally feel like summer!

One benefit of regular rain is that it clears the air, and the Wrekin clearly visible from the start of Charity, and a question about how many counties we can see…(a quick googling would suggest 8.. Lancashire, Yorkshire, Cheshire, Derbyshire, Staffordshire, Shropshire, Flintshire & Denbigshire)

After a quick chat with some members of the NW IT mafia, and past the boys pushing the big downhill rigs to the trails in the trees, its time for our own downhilling!

Charity running suprisingly dry and loose, some muddy patches on Narnia, and the usual skittish Hardingland.

No scouts or cubs to avoid this week, but time to spot the V1 crater 🙂

Bern plays a new game of which are the two best words in the english language…to which the answer is apparently “Cheeky Pint”…and we have time to pop into the Leathers for a Black Sheep. Girls on ponies clop to the front door to tell dad about their jumping, Country music is playing from car radios, and joggers are doing laps of the ressies.

We could stay longer, but the rendevouz with Croxy (but even more importantly the pizza and beer!) will not wait.

Grumblings from knees on the drag up and up and up..

Stunt supplies a full starter fire, Pizza provides nourishment, the boxes then seating, and brewdog the beers. Wood scavenging provides drier supplies than we feared, with Bern winning the prize for the most delivered 🙂

The snap and crackle of the fire, smell of woodsmoke, light still in the skies, a lack of midges, and the cameraderie of friends makes for a special kind of relaxing.

Dunc and Doog join us later, both prepared..Dunc with a lightweight folding stool, Doog with an upturned sheeplick bucket he found on the way!

Mirth and Ribaldry flow until the beer runs out, and its finally time for home, we remind Pete where he is going to avoid a “turning up a the wrong house drunk” scenario..and after the clearing is cleared..we provide an unwelcome surprise for the couple in the car parked at the start of charity!!

It’s been so much fun we have collectively forgotten to settle up with El Pres! oops

Good riding and good weather for the Mayhem’ers and the Trans Cambrian team!

Words by Alex, Pics by Pete

Crew: PTD, Mr Inc, Slim, Butty, TJ, Dunc, El Pres, Stunt

Route: BL, Zig, Teggs loop, Teggs descents, Smithy, reverse Ressies, White Rabbit ascent, Nessit Hill, Top of the Downhill, back up to the main track, Son of Dentists & Trail Monkey’s, Into the ressie track from the top, King Head.

Conditions: Mild & Dry

Notes: Incoming! says the whatsapp from Pete showing a lump on the radar…ominous black skies on the ride to BL…and rain..but only briefly and the edge of it (5 mins sheltering under trees on Higher Fence and it was gone).

From there glorious sunshine for the rest of the ride. Phil wants an early celebration stop (mainly to lose the weight of the booty). Ribaldry starts early as soon as Pete admits to sore nipples from his Fell race last night!

After saying hello to some rare breed steers at the start of the paved section up to teggs, we loop up towards the enclosure viewpoint, but set out our wares on the flattish big rocks just nearby.

We are treated to Dentists Nemesis ..a Mule cocktail of ginger beer, calvados and rum….and yes the oral cancer response was forthcoming ;-)!

Mr Inc has handmade a sausage roll of huge girth, and incorporating apple and dates…rather splendid. Vegan rolls to balance things too.

Butty also shares his Laphroaig from a recent business trip where he was served after hours in the hotel by a friendly staff member who was unfamiliar with alcohol..and served him a wine portion for the price of a spirit! The iodine notes cleansed the palate nicely.

Now clear of a troop of scouts, we take the fence decent back to the main path, then the normal teggs left or right. Tonight additional hazards were Ranger on the left, and more cattle on the right!

The section into the car park has been finished, no ruts , but big water bars..so on balance about the same 😉

Lots of wildlife to spot on the climb to the Leathers, pair of crested grebes nesting on the langley ressie, goldfinches flitting across the hedgerows higher up and swallows swooping all about.

Route discussion at the fork (whilst TJ chats with the Britannia mafia) shows Duncan that you don’t jest with the Dentist! White Rabbit Ascent it is!! We need to dodge trail runners descending the steep slope of the reverse ressies, and follow a lone runner all the way up to Nessit.

Glorious views from Dans bench, despite some of our better judgement we do “follow the dentist” to take advantage of good conditions under the trees, and have a good run down, up and the down for the full gamut of cheekiness.Butty takes us hard right after the entrance to the ressies near the white rabbit exit, and a good bit of singletrack takes you back on yourself before joining the track to Bob bench.

Red deer in the field below the dam..

Kings head do us proud and we get excellent service all evening (was there some forgettable football on somewhere?) Wincle Wibbly Wallaby, or a Skipton IPA are both good too.

A lot of ribaldry and planning of a Pott Lords BBQ next week (weather permitting)

Payment by card requires a phone call to the landlord to work the till!

Words by Alex, Photos by Pete

Crew: PTD, El Pres, Croxy, G, TJ, Mr Inc, Slim, Bern, Stunt

Pub: Adrian, Dunc, El Pud

“A” Route: BL, New Road, Tea rooms, Cat, Danebower, RH turn down to Chumby, back up Chumby to the road, Quarries, 3 Shires, Cut thorn, north shore track into Wildboarclough, Standing Stone, RHS of forest, LHS forest, ressies, 5 Clouds.

“B” Route: BL, New Road, Tea rooms, Cat, Danebower hollow, Chumby, Standing stone, Nessit Hill, trails to the ressies, Sutton Hall, 5 Clouds.

Conditions: Sunny, Warm, Dry!

Notes:

A big crew…Croxy friendly weather, G & TJ between adventures, usual crew all available.

The puss bank school disco collection means we meet a swans pool to avoid being an obstruction..however getting out through the traffic to Buxton Road was probably not welcomed by all the drivers!

A fine evening for PTD’s big route plan..with some scepticism on whether it is possible in the time available, its a fine evening so we head out anyway and take a view on options at the Cat.

No wind to speak of, great views, and suprisingly few motorbikers make it a pleasant ride to the Tea rooms (Bern doing his usual “catch me if you can” big blast)

A & B ride cunning plan hatched…PTD will take one team on his mega route, whilst Stunt will take the rest on a more classic route, and together with menu choices get the food order in.

Croxy has brought bubbles and charcuterie to celebrate a birthday, which we have at the parting of the ways on Danebower (not often you can stop here for refreshment without being blast chilled!)

It shows what a fine evening it is that we are still in short sleeve order at this point (although one more layer is donned!)

The teams blast off, and are re-united fifteen minutes later as team B come down Chumby as team A climb up.

Croxy promptly has a puncture faff to sort before team B carry on to the waterfall (a mere trickle) then down Cumberland Brook (mildly damp) and down to the ford.

A large group of red deer happily enjoying the evening sunshine on the fields opposite the standing stone lane. We do the same at Dan’s bench, with flotilla sailing reminicences. Comms to Sutton Hall fail due to lack of pick up their end.

Fast and fun down dusty dry trails into a wall of flies at the bottom of the Reservoir and all through Langley!

We arrive at Sutton Hall to find Adrian at the bar…BUT THE KITCHENS CLOSED!!! and a distinct lack of flexibility..poor show!

Plan B is Five Clouds and Pizza, tables are secured in the dog friendly bar, as Team A arrived having delivered the big route in good time. In addition to PTD’s painful crotch collision en route, we now discover we have missed the pizza cutoff!! ..we begin to eye the homemade dog biscuits as a possible option..before our very own culinary genius negotiates Thai from next door to save the day!

Dunc and El Pud arrive to swell the numbers, and despite no tab, we manage to work out who owes what to whom without fisticuffs 😉

All’s well that ends well, and its a very pleasant spot, with rather good beer, and the Thai buffet is excellent!

We also have the newly opened Beer Dock two doors down to sample in due course.

Ride home either shorter or longer than usual (depending on your point of view) but not cold. Some tired legs in the morning one suspects!

…there is new bench just below the Shutlinsloe gate, which has “You don’t know how far you can go unless you try” carved in the back board, seemed appropriate for PTD’s big route plan 😉

Crew: El Pres, Slim, Butty, TJ, Mr Inc, Bern, Stunt

Pub: Funky

Route: Bl, Zig-zags, Cat, Danebower, Cumberland Clough, Standing Stone, RHS former boardwalks, Ressies, Sutton Hall

Conditions: Cold, damp, puddly on firm trails

Stats: 1 Puncture (TJ)

Notes:

Team TNR assemble at BL in winter gear, with evidence of Slim being early!!

To no use, as Butty is a late starter, we are to meet Bern at his due to swift turnround from late train, and TJ promptly arrives at BL then discovers a flat tyre!

Bern wins the race of the latecomers, bravely attired in T shirt, shorts and gloves (in contrast to El Pres and Stunt in matching disco overtrousers and thick softshells!)

Butty arrives soon after and we take the zig zags to give TJ more time to catch us up…he does eventually at the layby beyond Walker Barn.

Tis a cold and grim evening for May, and the breeze is stiffer higher up, making the slighly downhill sections of the bends hard work, before gaining a boost on the long drag.

Bern leads the pack (presumably to keep warm?), and we are glad he has donned a jumper by the time we regroup.

No loitering tonight, straight up the tea room climb, over to the Cat, and onto Danebower.

Lots of puddles to give us wet boots (and cold toes), and El Pres struggles with the big gate, only to find the next rider goes straight round it where the fence is now down!

Fast and furious to the main road, then on towards Chumby.

El Pres again leading…this time being nearly taken out by two lambs darting in front of him.

Newish gate at Chumby entrance in strange contrast to an almost collapsed wall.

Chunky descent to the waterfall, and gnarly and wet on the lower section.

Wildboarclough still beautiful despite the dreary weather, and 8 red deer nonchalantly muching grass in one of the fields opposite the standing stone lane.

Phone call to Sutton hall was a good plan as it secures food that might not otherwise have been!

El Pres showing even more leadership takes us down via the old boardwalks for a good change, and not to waste the height on tarmac :-).

Sutton Hall ushers us into the back room (why don’t use it more often?), and folk go light with Titanic Steerage, or Dark with Dark Magic. Food follows and is devoured with particularly strong mustard!

A lack of ribaldry is detected as garden centres are mentioned!

A bag audit, determines Osprey and the current standard, and 14/15 Litre as the right size…El Pres’s 32 litre monster causes some raising of eyebrows (especially as the chest strap mounted phone pocket is not big enough for his device!!)

Blame Danny Baker for a lengthy and empassioned diversion to debate the merits of language in denoting boundaries and social acceptability (and in particular to ban or not) . Fortunately we veer back to TNR norms without offence, as the news breaks that Freddie Star has passed. Nostalgic silly headlines take us to sunnier places, and we even have lighting repairs to discuss 🙂

BIG BERN NEWS…Bern is planning to follow in the footsteps of an intrepid 1930’s adventurer who walked from the Hook of Holland to Instanbul.

Bern will attempt this on two wheels this summer..and deliciously has asked for what bike advice…does an evening get better than this!!

Eventually we are the last customers left, but Whisky is still negotiated to steel us for the inevitably cold ride home