drunkcyclist2

Crew: El Pres, Butty, Dunc, Slim, Stunt

Pub: Kersh

Route: Middlewood way Clark lane bridge, Clark lane, Redway lane, “under Nancy”, back of Kerridge, Rainow, Oakenbank, Poachers

Conditions: Light rain, very muddy and epic puddles.

Notes:

With storm Cieran battering the south coast and swirling round to bring heavy rain all day – the forecast looked bleak early doors. A few brave souls committed to a later start and shortish ride to the pub.

Dunc suggested an under the bridge meet on the middlewood way to be out of the worst of it.

But lo the storm shifted south, and the rain edged away so by our 7pm meet it was just light rain.

Some urban artwork on the wall of the bridge, and just before we set off, three lady runners came down the ramp – and cheekily quipped “hiding from the rain boys?” – good banter!

More suprising was the barrage of fireworks going off somewhere to the West – a proper display – but why a Thursday night when the 5th is Sunday (and rubbish weather)!?

A bit of overheating on the steep climb “under Nancy” with a lot of waterproof layers in evidence, at the top its a bit misty – or maybe we are sort of in cloud?

The super wet conditions from earlier mean is super slippy on the grass and muddy tracks, plenty of slithering especially off camber.

Pete takes us up to an old mineshaft (or airshaft?) that had opened up in the second field, he had peeked town the other day and told of a brick lined shaft…but the coal board had been there first and capped it off :-(.

We pass a couple of the Nancy’s coming the other way before tackling the slope of doom! it’s no worse that what we have been dealing with already – but we all get caught out on the track out where front wheels suddenly dip into an unseen boggy bit – no off’s but lots of muttering 😉

Time to admire the number plate on the car parked opposite when we reach the road – 0007 CMB – call me bond? only on a golf mind you (or does it have Q division secret features?)

Huge patch of water across the whole lane just before Oakenbank – and wet feet as it was over the bottom bracket! Butty worries about his motor waterproofness!!

A blast down Oakenbank and into the Poachers – which is eerily quiet with just us, the two nancies and one couple in residence.

You get served quick at the bar though!

This weeks baguette of choice is the bacon and mozzarella, El Pres has a minor vinegar crisis (soon solved) and the stout is the beer of choice.

G (with doggie in tow) pops in, and a mini AoE fortifies us for a chilly damp ride home.

Crew: El Pres, Slim, Butty, Bern, 3 Sheds, Dunc, Stunt

Pub: Croxy

Route: Back Eddisbury Lane, Zag, Teggs nose, Holehouse lane car park, Smithy, Nessit Hill loop, Smithy.

Conditions: Dull and mild, wet later then very wet!

Notes:

A day of on and off rain, but the TNR slot looks like it might get away with it, or just some light stuff.

The President takes charge of operations, and takes us forestwards with a Smithy finish for some variety.

A late running Stunt will take Saddlers way and along the bottom to try to RZ at the car park (where he gets bumped by a careering badger that explodes out of a hedge!).

More variety with a Teggs exploration having done the zag, with wet ground the main descent needs care in places.

At the bottom El Pres’s tyre lets go with a BIG BANG! and a huge tear, this is no Thornton style over sweated asset – but a 2 month old tyre with a catastrophic failure. It takes a couple of attempts to fix, the milk bottle carton inset trick does not do the job, but two tie wraps achieve a soft but rideable situation. Prankster Phil making a second loud bang as they test the inflation 😉

Stunt has been left confused by seeing riders descending, but then not appearing, so has headed uo to the Smithy (for what turns out to be a long wait).

Eventually and with rain falling, we arrive to order food. El Pres declares that he will be staying – not wanting to risk the tyre any further, heroically three others offer to stay and keep him company. With TNR flag continuing to be flown by Butty, 3 Sheds and Bern who head out to do the white rabbit ascent and then loop back down from Nessit.

In the Smithy there is beer tap faff, as both first and second beer choices run dry before a pint can be pulled! After John scurries into the cellar to sort the situation, we end up with Neckoil, and then head onto the recommended Titianic Steerage IPA.

We are kept amused by the boys on the other table who are geekily into “van life” topics amidst proper boyish banter.

The intredpid trio arrive back rather damp reporting heavy rain arriving at the bottom of the climb. Butty being particularly under dressed for it…a case of the shacket not hacking it 😉

One of the kitchen team comes out with terrible news that there is only one fish and chips, El Pres generously lets Phil have it, and then (having to have the menu read to him as the specs are misplaced) he upgrades to a rare steak.

As the food arrives…and shock – there are two fish portions on Phil’s plate!! could El Pres have had his fish an chips after all??? fortunately his steak is amazing and all is good. The ales flow, and the topics bounce from cycling gear…much love for Endura stuff, random trivia – life on Mars actor who used to live on Barracks lane (Chris Skelton), life updates…Bern’s “bumble’ings”, ribaldry..grandads knackers, and familiar themes….not missing work f@8kwittery – with Croxy celebrating his first week in the catgory of “not economically active”.

Early leavers report the outside situation as wetter than an otters pocket, so definitely whisky to face the homeward journey (watch the candle when clinking glasses though!)

Sadly the situation has not improved as we unlock bikes, El Pres decides his tyre is fit for purpose to get home, and foolishly turns down the lift offer from Croxy, and we head cautiously down the road in heavy rain.

Legs soaked to the skin by the time we are through Langley, and just as Dunc mentions that the repair is holding up well…a huge balloon appears and El Pres is forced to stop. There is nothing to be done, but deflate the tyre to get the inner tube back (amazingly it did not pop), and take the long wet walk home.

Debate on time of “walk from Sutton to Barracks lane” vs “bike to bolly” is settled by the 3 rings protocol. With the walk of shame being faster.

Fortunately the October mini heatwave is on the way, so it was not cold.

Learning points – tubeless is the answer, never refuse a lift when you have a dodgy bike, don’t leave the waterproof trousers at home when the foreacast is rain, never believe the forecast and prepare for the worst.

Will it be winter boots next week?

Crew: El Pres, PTD, Slim, 3 Sheds, Troll, Dunc, Butty, Stunt

Pub: Adrian & Biscuit

Route: Rainbow bridge, Redway lane, back of Kerridge, Waulkmill wood, Ingersley Vale, Poachers Snicket, Pott Shrigley, Bakestonedale road, Gritstone trail, Sponds, Dale Top, quarries descent, chapel descent, Pott Shrigley, Long Lane, Beeston mount, Poachers.

Conditions: Fine, still, cool later.

Notes:

Dunc arrives on the freshly reassembled full suss, and we get the lowdown on changing all 10 bearings, and mirth at his comment of how smooth his back end is now!

Pete has a new front light, and Butty is on the “old” E-MTB having broken the E bit of the new one at the weekend after a clipping a pedal on a treestump (there was no sympathy!)

With no advance route plan, and a lack of credible alternatives, it’s a Sponds high point to aim for.

With a Spunch countryside score PeteQuest next week – we get stuck into what is the right bike, and what handicapping for E C**ts, we can hear Thornton licking his proverbial lips at the prospect of local rules.

“Taxi to the kerb” as we pass a small car parked a good metre from the pavement on the start of the climb up to the Bulls Head, and motoring nostalgia is invoked as a TVR Chimera on Redway lane is started up. That V8 is running a little lumpily “well all the cylinders are firing…just not necessarily in the right order”

Heading down “under Nancy” we head right for a little section along the back of Kerridge, before cutting back down the slippery slabs to Waulkmill wood, and the heaviest gate in the parish.

Recent rain has put the trail into muddy mode, which makes it worthy of concentration.

At the bottom, a chap is reversing his short wheelbase defender (with SantaCruz on the back), and we reunite him with his bottle, which has fallen off.

The puppy training class are further along the lane this week, and all seemed well behaved!

Long climb up to the gritstone becomes a race to the sunset, which we lose, but do get treated to some nice pink cloud formations close to a vertical half moon low in the sky.

A lot of sheep in the fields, and plenty crowding the shonky gate at the start of the gritstone. They do part to let us through – the farmer needs a new gate post, the current flappy fence mess needs more that two bits of nylon string to sort it out!

Cresting the ridge the dusk views are superb, the air is still and clear, and clouds here and there add to the ambience. Also admiring the view is a new landcape feature – two huge slabs of rock now form a bench, with a smart plaque to the late old farmer who can watch his flocks in peace.

Somehow watching sheep turns into inappropriate alternative gatherings for pete’s 60th, ribaldry zone is definitely reached early.

All the fine september weather has kept the grass growing for longer, so it seems that all available animals are out to pasture – lots and lots of sheep, 2 horses by the Trig, and a herd of black cattle spread out further down.

Jackets and buffs on as the temperature starts to fall, lights on, and across to Dale top, then down the quarries descent on very wet dewy grass.

Lead riders get an extremely bright ISS Pass overhead as the equally bright lights of their compadres wind their way down. Dunc stops at the tree to adjust rear shock pressure (then regrets it).

Meanwhile at the bottom – the no mudguard policy of Butty is now regretted – the thing about so many animals is that there is a proportional increase in sheep shit – he’s covered in it, and so is his bike!

Time for the Chapel descent – and the best lines into the stream are overgrown with very spiky bushes!

With some puddles and more wet grass – the worst of the sheepy stuff is off the tyres at least, but some washing machines may be doing overtime in the morning.

Poachers is very busy, but the team look after us well, a golf themed IPA is spurned (with good reason) for pumps of doom, or Dortmunder, food arrives in stages, which leads to El Pres finishing ahead of the rest!!

Adrian and Biscuit arrive too – causing much doggy conversation with various folk.

We get the low down on the paragliding mishaps of Phil’s mates – but the wisdom seems to be – when the weather turns spicy take the safe landing spot even if it means a 3 hours hike back, rather than try to get back to the target spot, then get stuck in no mans land with no good options. Clearly multi week hospital stays from dodgy landings are far worse than a long walk and wounded pride.

An impromptu quiz on how many films each bond made, and lots of general banter.

Pudding beer is the old hag, then the AoE go Leffe/Whisky.

Chilly ride home despite the beer jacket.

And after all that no one mentioned it was the solstice – tis now officially Autumn.

Crew: PTD, Butty, Troll, 3 Sheds, Coley, Croxy, Bern, Dunc, Dr S, G

Shrubberies: Doog, El Pres, Ruth

Route: Bottom of Zag, Charity, Under the trees singletrack to Narnia, LHS trail from just before the bench to the fire road, “Into the sun” segment to the trail, back up and across to do the long wiggly singletrack back to the trail, down to the gate and road to Leathers, across the bottom of the ressie, up the white rabbit ascent half way, more singletrack down, final wiggle back up and round the back of the wall to the come out near Bob’s bench, back along the ressie path to the Shrubberies.

Conditions: Hot and sultry!

Notes:

A PTD/Doog production offering al fresco curry at the Shrubberies is a recipe for success in a week where it may be meterelogical autumn, but defintely still astronomical summer!

Big turnout on a hot night, with some high level cloud taking the worst of the radiant heat out of the sun, it’s gone humid!

Route discussions focus on minimising climb and maximising the dry conditions, so a high point at Charity then much meandering singletrack on the way down.

Despite a couple of large muddy mires close to the entry point, the conditions under the trees are dry and firm as predicted, the trail from the bombhole all the way to Narnia is fast and fun!

Following Mando Paul “It is the way” we take the next section from Narnia down to the lower fire road, this one is getting a bit more deeply rutted on the corners – but plenty of offline options which are equally good.

A very steep exit is not for all, but PTD and G show us how to get some air off the bank once we are on the fire road proper.

Butty shows he does not know the way with a brief and fruitless foray into the wrong track (and some face attacking vegetation), PTD takes us the right way for the down and up (mind the rock at the end) “into the sun” – although tonight that was not a problem..indeed lights were on for some.

A quick backup and round to take a slightly different entry that leads to the singletrack all the way down under the trees to the bottom of the trail from the Smithy. With a brief stop to check Trolls contact lens, and a time check, we are led down past the pub, the last of the dog walkers, and across the ressies.

A final climb up the white rabbit ascent in the dusk, then more wiggly fun – one new little jump gives a few folk some unexpected air – but luckily speed is their friend and all land safely. A right hand side option takes us down some extremely steep stuff – and out by the steps, maybe next time the LHS exit?. A short climb back up the start of the white rabbit main path, back towards the ressies, then a 180 to take the rooty trails behind the wall down to Bobs bench.

A last whizz back past the ressies and the gate to the Shrubberies slides back to let us in!

Troll and PTD share brick pattern geekiness “nice flemish” on the front, and “english garden” on the side. It’s coming along but still much to do before it’s habitable, but what a view from the garden!

We are camped in one corner with some tables and chairs close to a large mound of soil. PTD gets a fire going with waste timbers, Doog and Chris arrive bearing beer and the magic box of curry wonderment, and all the pieces are in place!

Hard not to look at the sky – the wind must have shifted round, as the aircraft are all coming in to Manchester for a South to North landing (which is unusual). Some satellites seen, and a discussion about when Orion appears (January). 3 Sheds has us crying with laughter with a clip from down under relating how not to test a taser! 😉

We get a Rum finish, with a taste of Dropworks white rum from Shaun’s latest locale (punchy!), and then some smooth golden loveliness of Wireworks aged dark rum.

Does one need an extra layer for the ride home? maybe, but definitely not two as Dunc finds out by the time he’s halfway back – 19C at midnight in Tythy.

Now can I find a cassette spacer to sort that horrendous rattling from the back of my steed!?