drunkcyclist2

2015 Ride 3;
Crew; A ride; El Pres, 3 Sheds, Butty, Stunt, Slim, Gee, Mr I, Eric
B ride; Dunc
Pub; PtD and El Pud

Route; OBR, zig, Teggs, Leathers, concessionary climb, Charity and extension, Standing Stone, LHS descent, road to The Park Tavern

Conditions; Windy, very; but dry, quite.

Stats; Punctures for Stunt, El Pres and Dunc, lighting faff, Slim, gear cable failure Mr I.

The same crew as last week assembled with the addition of a fully restored Mr I and his faithful Marin. Another Thursday of forecasted high winds lead to some debate about suitable routes, and with an advertised burger night at the Park Tavern a decision was made – short spin in the shelter of the forest and then burgers at a new venue!

The first faff of the night saw Stunt begging spare tubes in Barracks Lane before a slight tail wind pushed us up OBR and across the zig. Back on OBR Slim realized that he had charged the wrong battery and chose a spot in the teeth of a freshening gale to carry out his faff.

Up and down Teggs which was spectacularly slippery, with everyone except “3 sheds the brave” taking the RHS option. As we climbed up past the welcoming glow of the lights of the Leathers there was some talk of “stuff the burgers let’s stop here” but we bravely cranked on. At the witches cottage the group split, some heading for the top whilst others climbed through Narnia.

It wasn’t quite Fort William in June, but charging down Charity to chants of “allez, allez” from a small crowd gathered at the end of Narnia was surreal. Despite all the new bits on the revitalized Marin, Mr I snapped the gear cable – something about horseshoe nails; but time was marching on and the time to get to the park was a bit of an unknown. Another split, some went to Standing Stone with a LHS descent others followed Mr I down the decent grande direct.

It was hoodies on and lights off for a bit of urban through town and up to the very welcoming Park Tavern. There is no rear entrance so it was bikes through the hallway, past the kitchen and out the back.
Sadly for the second week on the run El Pres was left behind, lost in the woods or the streets or somewhere. Once is unfortunate, twice careless, three times possibly signs of a coup in the offing.

As the sister ship to the Vale all the familiar beers from the Happy Valley were present along with a selection of gourmet burgers which weren’t. Failing to fully heed PtD’s warnings the burger order went in a little late which left our seven hungry chums with the remaining six meaty burgers and one veggie; sorry Dunc. Now Mr I has provided table chips from all over the world for TNR but tonight he failed – “sorry no chips we don’t have an extractions system” came the reply. The toilet based attempt at humour which constituted the repost is not worthy of these pages.

The conversation started at a remarkably high level with concerns over the removal of the cap on the Swiss franc and how it affected our offshore investments but soon returned to normal with the arrival of the mythical El Pud, and then hit rock bottom (sorry) with Dunc’s description of the Picolax thread.

A normal finish to a slightly different ride

2015 Ride 1

Words by Eric

Crew; Dunc (29), Eric (27.5)

Lame excuses; Kersh – had to take the dog for a walk!

Route; Rainbow Bridge, Endon Hall, Liggett’s, Kerridge Ridge, woods, Poachers snicket, Pott Shrigley brickworks, Dale Top, Moorside Lane, Butty’s sneaky descent, Shrigley Road, Styperson Woods, Vale.

Conditions; Dry and mild to start – then very very wet!
Stats; None
Offs; None

With most of the crew enjoying a week shooshing the alpine slopes with the rich and famous it was always going to be a select group tonight. Very select as it turned out, just Dunc and your correspondent. The weather forecast initially appeared wrong with tee shirts being more appropriate than waterproofs although things were set to change.

There was a touch of déjà vu to the route but we headed off for Kerridge Ridge via Endon and Lidgetts.
Riding along the ridge at the moment is great fun, just keep peddling and hope that you end up going in vaguely the right direction – eventually getting to the wet stone slabs, the ones with the green slime on gives some modicum of grip!

The snicket seems to have developed some deep mud to go with the rocks but Dunc cruised up on the big wheeled unsprung thing. Slight concerns on arrival at a closed Poachers, we started thinking of plan C what if all the pubs are shut.

By the time we got to the bottom of Blakestonedale the rain started and by the time we crossed the big style it was absolutely lashing down and blowing a gale. Fortunately the gale was a tail wind which made for an almost pleasant climb but it put paid to plans for a sneaky snifter of the leftovers from Dunc’s Father Christmas’s fireside tipple. On reaching the ridge there were two options, left into the teeth of the gale or right down the descent to Moorside Lane. Quickly across the lane and down the religious descent; really quite wet by now!

Wet we may have been but it would have been rude not to go through the woods. Interestingly the berms don’t berm when they are three inches deep in mud; one or two wobbles but all under control. The singletrack in the holly gave some shelter from the rain. When we popped out at the bottom the rain had eased a little and we started to dry out somewhat; then down the hill to the Vale and …… yes, lights on, job done.

No food, no patrons except a group hogging the fire and us two! – But beer and wasabi nuts.

Happy New Year.

Words by Eric
Crew; Butty, Mr I, Slim, Stunt, Big Nick, Kersh, El Pres and new chum Rudi , Coley, Eric, Doog, TJ,

Team Car; PTD, Shaun

Lame excuses; All heros tonight

Route; New Buxton Road, zig and zag, Cocktails stop 1- Teggs car park, round the Nose, RHS descent reservoirs to Leathers – Cocktail stop 2, Bob’s bench backwards, Visitor Centre – Cocktail stop 3, retrace steps to Leathers.

Conditions; Evil!
Stats; None thankfully, too wet to hang around. Offs; Stunt, near start of Tegg’s Nose descent ..resulting in de-raied saddle

A big peloton assembled for the chaps Christmas Dinner ride. Nice to welcome some old faces back and also the President’s new mate Rudi over here from Russia working on some computer thingummigiggery.

It was never going to be a big ride tonight with three cocktail stops planned en route to “Christmas Dinner” at the our spiritual home of the Leathers but with a forecast of evil getting worse, a low level mission was set. By the time we got moving there was a steady drizzle and as we got a little higher it had a hint of sleet to it. It was definitely winter boots time.
Whilst we were on a cocktail mission with no backout plan it was amazing to see two other groups of riders out in this crazy weather, presumably just for fun; talk about cycling catching on in this country !
On arrival at the car park the team car was already in place, head to wind, with the cocktail bar manned by PTD and Shaun. The first offering was brown, rapidly christened after Coley’s sheep piss puddles of last week, but IMHO rather tasty. Up next was green, I think – this one a little more sudden on the palet with a final shot of rather unnatural pink.
The rain turned from steady drizzle to steady downpour as we headed onwards with the RHS descent proving a popular post cocktail choice . As we climbed up towards the forest Rudi treated us to tales of great routes on deserted trails at home but with some heavier political and current affairs thrown in it became patently clear that despite his young appearance he still has some serious Communist party leanings. On nearing the Leathers we saw a single light and soon we arrived at cocktail stop two where Doog had flasks of steaming mulled wine waiting. The mulling had been done the special Scottish way and soon sodden cockles were warmed – although to any passing traveller we must have been a slightly surreal sight; a group of middle aged men, soaked, standing in the pouring rain having a jolly time drinking out of plastic cups by the light of headlights – outside a pub with roaring fires and cosy chairs.
No time to loose but waning enthusiasm saw us take a quick sprint via Bob’s bench to the visitor centre for our second rendezvous with the team car. On getting there it smelt like team spirit so we knew we had reached Nirvana. More green and something very blue were the order of the day and both slid down rather well too.
All that remained was a quick blast back to the Leathers with tea on the table.
Apart from the weather the new simple format Gentlemen’s Christmas Ride was a great success without the menu faffing and stuffing innuendo of previous years; just choose off the normal menu. Also special thanks to Paul and Shaun and to Doog for the cocktail/mulled wine mastery.
When we finally came to leave Rudi went outside to check the weather and came back to say that it was still pouring down – nobody contradicted him because – “Rudolf the red knows rain dear”

Words by Eric
Crew; Butty, Mr I, Slim, Dr S, Stunt, Croxy, El Pres, Eric

In the pub; Post “B” ride Dunc, in civvies PTD and Kersh

Lame excuses; 3 Sheds, – not back in time

Route; Old Buxton Road, zig, no zag, Teggs, RHS to the reservoir, Leathers, Concessionary Bridleway, Charity, Narnia, Hardingland, reservoir again, Leathers again, anticlockwise loop to Bob’s bench, Leathers again.

Conditions; Chilly higher up but still not winter. Ooh soo slippery under wheel.
Stats; Non reported for the second week running, or should that be riding
Offs; Stunt, Slim.

With a pub rendezvous planned for the slowly recovering PTD, the forest and The Leathers was a bit of a given. Before the off there was much speculation about the size of Butty’s new rubber, with the front wheel of his hardtail looking more akin to something found on a JCB than a lightweight racer. It was good to have a rare appearance from Croxy although he admitted it was only to make sure he was on the A list for the Christmas do.

Normally the zig is just a bit of a warm up for legs and lungs but tonight the surface warmed up the reflexes aswell with a couple of unexpected slippy bits. The normal start for the RHS descent was considered too slippy by the leadership team – what’s the world of ‘elf and safety coming too! Slim was quickly into the accident book with a novel first as he managed to crash without actually being on the bike at the time. Moments later Stunt lived up to his full name of Stunt Double with two falls in two yards, both before mounting his bike, the first one left a rather nasty bruise, the second left the rest of us laughing but also considering our own options. It was so slippy you were safer sitting on the bike than standing and hanging onto it.

No one was brave enough for the LHS but the banter at the car park assembly point suggested that the RHS had not disappointed anyone either. It was up to the Leathers next to order victuals for later before the long pull up to the top of Charity, not too much to report here except heavy breathing, on the climb that is not the food ordering!

It seemed to be a bit of a “ “ ‘em sort of night with no regroup at the top. The new sport seems to be to go down to the entrance to Narnia and then shine your light up into the eyes of those following down – hmm.
The Narnia steps proved suitably terrifying on one’s little bike and we waited for El Pres to face his nemesis again. With the food now nearly ready it was along the ruined track to the road and swift blast down Hardingland, and back up to the reservoirs; so swift in fact that the food wasn’t quite ready so we took in a final loop around Bob’s bench, arriving fashionably late for dinner.

The hospitality was warm as ever even though we seemed to be the only folk in the place. Aside from the usual (gammon for Slim) there was a rich variety of freshly shot things on the menu. The conversation turned to injury recovery strategies, healthcare schemes and operations various – it’s a sign of the times; but you don’t stop playing because you grow old …………….. !

Words by Eric
Crew; Butty, Mr I, Slim, Dr S, Stunt, Dunc, 3 Sheds, Eric

Lame excuses; El Pres, not available !

Route; New Buxton Road to the Tearoom, Stakeside, Shooters Clough, Errwood Hall, Goytsclough Quarry, Derbyshire Bridge, Cat, Stanley Arms, Standing Stone. LHS and Bob’s bench to Sutton Hall.
Conditions; Starting warm, foggy, windy, chilly higher up – no rain though.
Stats; Non reported, entirely due to the right sizing of the group.
Offs; Dr Simon.

Just the right sized group with, Slim on time to cock a snook at his new nickname of Tardy, and Duncan early enough to catch us all on the climb to the Tea Room.
We soon realized that it might be “grim up high” with a strong headwind and fog on the climb. The Stakeside descent proved interesting with a combination of slipperier than a slippery place and fog thicker than your grannies socks. Right on the top of the world two eerie headlights came looming out of the gloom. We we’re quite surprised to see a normal 4 x 4 crewed by some optimistic youths. Their optimism unfortunately wasn’t going to get them too much further methinks ! They seemed quite surprised by our presence too, asking Mr I if we were “night ridin’ ” !

Gingerly down the zig zags and over Shooters Clough we went although Dr Simon managed a spectacular somersault after finding a front wheel sized hole in the singletrack. Luckily the only damage was to a light bracket.

Concern turned to relief when Butty lead us left towards the Quarry, the alternative would have been Shooters Clough, up !

The grind up to the Cat from Derbyshire Bridge was again in fog making it seem never ending but it was the fog on the descent to the Stanley Arms which was the most challenging. How fast dare you go – as long as you can see the white line it’s OK but there are a couple of gaps…………. Our lead riders also arrived at one bend to find bits of car all over the road, quite disconcerting at speed and in a fog. It did however explain why we’d seen a car driving the other way with just hazard lights on. It’s a sign of a broken society when you don’t pick the bits of your accident up.

As we descended from Standing Stone the forest seemed to be alive with riders – everybody must be “night ridin’” – lucky we went elsewhere tonight.

The final headcount in the pub didn’t reconcile – oops Dr Simon, lost in Langley. He eventually appeared having regained his bearings in Macclesfield, sorry !

Sutton Hall provided comfy chairs by the fire whilst our table was prepared, large quantities of meat based provender and multiple servings of Leffe, it could be worse. I’m sure it was for at least two motorists tonight.