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TNR 05-08-2021 Back Inside !

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Words by Pete,  Pics by Pete & Bern 

Crew : Dunc, El Pres, Bern, Butty, TJ, Pete , Troll 

In da pub : El Pud, Ruth 

Route :  “The Classic” MC, Zig & Zag , Charity, Extension, Standing Stone, Nessit , Fire-road descent/Downhill course, Leathers, Ye Olde King’s Head 

This weeks trending hashtags

#DoesBernHaveBatteriesInHisWellies?

#ButtyStillRidesAcoustic

Weather : Wet/damp/misty …but improving . A mild 15c at 23:45 ! 

Notes:

– After last week’s poor turnout we have the Magnificent 7 

  • El Pres decrees it will be a classic circuit of the forest , and no deviations over fences to do the naughty bits in the woods are allowed 
  • Ye Olde King’s head has been booked and we arrive with just a couple of minutes to spare . Although we have two al fresco tables booked we are offered a big table inside..my goodness seven around one table inside a pub feels like a return to some form of normality !
  • The damp conditions have led Bern to don his “magic wellies” which seem to give him extra oomph up the climbs . Are they e-Wellies ? 
  • Talking of e-matters …Butty has gone acoustic this week and arrived on his Trek 
  • Charity seemed to be extra roughed up this week – especially the extension 
  • Food , Service and beer choice at Ye Olde King’s head were top notch …esp the Long Hop and Atlantic Pale Ale.
  • Ribaldry levels were turned up to 11 even before the arrival of the cheeky guest star El pud and a most  jovial Ruth (to ferry back a refreshed Troll) 
  • Bern encounters a biblical plague of frogs and toads on his ride home 
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TNR 29-7-2021 The Fortunate Four

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Words by Pete & Dunc, Pics by Lee

Crew : Dunc, El Pres, Lee, Butty

Route :   MC, zig (but not zag), Back Eddisbury, Cliff lane, Calrofold lane, Hawkins Lane, Tower Hill path, Kerridge bridleway, Waulkmill Wood, poachers snicket, Reverse Oakenbank, Jumper Lane, Blaze Hill, Main Road, Bakestonedale Road, Gritstone Trail (Rendezvous with Butty), Dale Top, Birchencliffe, Stypersons wood, Canal towpath, Middlewood way,  5 Clouds

This weeks trending hashtags

#isthreemechanicalsbadmaintenanceorbadluck?

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Weather : Cloudy but warm and mostly dry

Notes

The Bad news

– a poor turn out this week, excuses a plenty, thank goodness for the dedicated few

– mechanical bad luck comes in threes for Dunc:  1) Time Pedal spring retaining pin trying to escape 2) realisation that rear mech clutch does actually keep  your chain on 3) Badly designed SLX chainset means it’s easy for chainring bolt threads to strip (cue a disappearance into the rabbit hole of internet research on Helicoils)

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– By the time we found Butty he’d been playing in the quarry and had dropped a rock on his finger

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– Stunt-Dunc manages a spectacular speedway slide off at speed on the Birchencliffe grassy descent in exactly the same spot as Alex a couple of weeks earlier.  No significant harm done 

– Middle class Pizza shop has stopped doing discount for Five Clouds customers

The Good news

– Lee volunteered to be ops leader with an unauthodox route which kept Butty guessing on an intercept point 

– excellent choice of post ride watering hole 

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– Lack of p1ss taking at Dunc’s mechanical mishaps 

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– An excellent selection of beers and despite the selection veering towards The Troll’s idea of cooking strength ? the quartet were mostly sensible in their selections, until….

– Double Whiskys at a £5 each 

Other Five Clouds points of note:  Rave music, Mini Croxy & Battlestar Galactica lookalike

TNR 22-07-2021 Riders on the Storm

Crew: PTD, El Pres, Slim, 3 Sheds, Butty, TJ, Bern, Luc, Stunt

Pub: Jane & Sally

Route: Bolly Maze, Grimshaw lane, Redway past Nancy, Back of Kerridge, Rainow, Oakenbank, Spuley lane, Pott Shrigley, Bakenstonedale road to the layby, up to Sponds Trig, back to Dale Top, Quarries descent, Moorside lane, Pott Shrigley, Poachers.

Conditions: Hot, Dry, nice breeze, epic thuderhead over Manchester.

Stats: 1 mangled rear mech faff (El Pres)

Notes:

An Austin production as we are blessed with a long overdue visit of Luc, now sporting neat white whiskers!

Gathering at the Bolly Maze, its skorchio, and our elder statesmen have opted for shorts but no shirt “skins” approach (they both have the torso’s to carry it off). The catching up with Luc begins, and Emma drops by to say hi…and sort out keys with PTD.

The temperatures suggest we don’t want to overexert ourselves, but our slim leader takes us straight uphill! Fortunately there is a breeze which cools nicely as we ride. Not a speck of mud on Kerridge, and a rare cut down to the lower track through the woods from the N side (possibly just to force Butty to lift his ebike over a metal gate?)

Any expectations of a slack ride are dashed as we unexpectedly vote No to a cheeky half at the robin hood! Scarecrow count in Rainow a bit low, but the Church, Scout hut and pub had all tried hard.

Ramblers were gathering in the lane – presumably for a less hot walk than during the day?

Spanish conditions on Oakenbank – dusty, loose and with spiky vegetation after your elbows!

How come we have never noticed the badger weathervane on the house in the traffic island at the end of Oakenbank!?

Onwards and upwards to the layby, and much appreciation for the shade along most of the route. Off road is the best going you will get with both a clear line and grippy grass. So much so that it had tempted a Nancy gravel biker, who paused to chat at the big stile.

Time and our internal temperatures both seemed to be onside, so up to Sponds, taking the time to admire Hairy Coos, Red Deer, and an impressive big shower just beyond Manchester city centre.

A boys of summer shot at the trig point (thankfully no one suggested we all go skins!), and then down over the down and ups to Dale Top. We almost all of us, as a noise like riding over corrugated iron heralded some near fatal derailleur action at the back of El Pres’s giant.

Fate was with him as on a night where one pair of pliers might not have been enough, the engineering might of Luc was with us. Some serious tutting when the coat hanger wire pivot replacement (that had failed) turned out to be a two year old repair!

Whilst the metal bashing was underway, the lead riders were watching the heavy shower developing into a proper thunderhead, and also noting that it was tracking towards us. More worryingly at 10 miles out it was sucking the air past us towards it!!

Regrouped we headed along the ridge, caught up with Phil, Butty and PTD who were playing in the old quarry below the whales tooth, and then came up past the mine diorama, and down the superfast grassy descent – with all rocks visible.

Everyman for themselves to the pub, where reserved tables awaited. For such a fine evening it was very quiet at the poachers. A lot of lager’s ordered to quench and cool, and the very pleasant ability to all sit around one table!

Lots of catch ups and parallel conversations, some pilot weather appiness tracked the storm cell, calls were made to close velux windows, and then anticlimax…as it stayed to the West!

A lovely treat as Sally and Jane joined us, and wine, conversation and reminicences flowed. Post pub Jane has to ride Luc’s bike back, so that he can drive the uber cool T6 california camper back to chez austin. Full TNR points to Jane for making it up Lord street!

A superb red harvest full moon lit the way home to crown a wonderful evening.

TNR 15-7-2021 Big with butties!

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Words by Alex , Photos by Dunc, Butty and TJ

Crew: El Pres, 3 Sheds, Slim, TJ, Butty, Dunc, Troll, Stunt

Route: New Road to Tea Rooms, Goyt descent to Shooters Clough, Over the Stream behind Errwood Hall, up Foxlow edge, last bit of the Street, across the moor to Windgather, through the woods to Taxal Edge, Kettleshulme, up past the Moorside, Bowstones, Dale Top, straight down the grassy descent to Moorside Lane, Pott Shrigley, Poachers.

Conditions: Warm, Dry, Buggy, Humid

Notes:

El Pres decrees a bring your own butties and beer, and go big with a last orders pub finish.

Rendevous are planned at various places along Buxton road all the way to the tea rooms, and without the use of technology the posse gathers numbers on a hot ride up to the tearooms where Butty awaited on high!

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After some mandatory cooling down time, we headed up to meet him, and found him chatting to another ebiker with a “e-light” bike.

Some discussion on what the straight on route is called, and we went straight on! A pause at the turn for Shining Tor as we watched a long eared owl soaring over the long grass looking for supper, it was a big one!

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Fast and hard down to Shooters Clough gate, then fast and hard down the clough to the stream and the rocky bits. Space given for the two ladies on ebikes coming up!

A smattering of folk walking or picnicing in addition to the riders and runners all enjoying a fine evening.

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Foxlow edge route taken to avoid being on the wrong end of riders coming down the shrine descent. Turned out to be a long push in parts, and heavily fly infested. At the top we met a guy toting an offroad long skateboard thing, and on the descent had to focus when passing the couple walking up the way we had come from.

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Butty stop at Windgather agreed upon, so time to savour the conditions across the moor and along by the wall on the way.

The clinking of gear heralded rock faces crawling with climbers, some of whom cheekily pointed out that the rocks were not a bridleway. We found a clear spot and settled down to enjoy the views, munch on our sarnies, and savour a cold beer (or G&T!).

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Re-invigorated we commit to the full circuit, and head into the woods (with a gate held open for us by a nice young lady) and up to Taxal edge. Serious ducking under the trees needed at the end, but all arrive safely.

A different story on the other side of Kettleshulme, as half the group miss the Left Hand turn into Priest lane, and detour round to meet us close to the Moorside. Tired legs as the sun sank at Bowstones at 9:50pm, but a call to the poachers to find that last orders would be 11pm gave a fresh boost. Lights on and heads down, watch out for the dew on the grass on the final descent, and pints on the table by 10:30.

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A new beer ordering format of <Beer><your name> led to potential new nicknames, “Peroni Pete” and serious sniggering “Big Willy Phil!” , our barmaid had heard it all before, and efficiently sorted our orders and bills out with ease. Leffe’s were needed to revive weary bodies before the ride home. With an AoE having an extra nip too!

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Stats will show it was a munro night, and an excellent high summer adventure. As it was St Swithin’s day…will we be blessed with 40 days of summer now? Here’s hoping!

TNR 8-07-2021 More Pigford moor

Crew: El Pres, Slim, 3 Sheds, Butty, TJ, Dr S, Lee, Troll, Stunt, Dunc, G

Route: MC, Zig Zags, Charity, under the trees to Narnia, Extension, Standing Stone, Push up onto Pigford moor, full traverse past the Slabs, onto the (very overgrown) landrover track below Shutlingsloe, across the Southern side, and to Greenway bridge. Up Nabbs road past the plague stone, Hanging Gate, back to the Forest, past the ressie, and down from the Leathers to the Kings Head.

Conditions: Dry, warm, firm trails, a bit buggy.

Notes:

Another good summers TNR, with El Pres taking us on the rarely visited far side of Pigford moor.

Initial RV at MC got most of the crew, with a second walker barn meet, updated to the start of charity (offroad) as the main group were ahead of time. Dunc and Slim not so impressed with the measly 5 mins to get up the hill, but they gamely gave it a go.

This gave the rest of us time to have a wry smile at the three lads being dropped off at the start of chazzy, who then proceeded to do stretches (why not loosed up by riding up??). A small ish bike with lurid green spokes was being ridden one of them, he did like his wheelies.

The “under the trees” section to Narnia was in better shape than expected, with plenty of excitement for all abilities.

Lower chazza fast and loose, extension extremely sketchy lower down!!

The formerly rideable track up onto Pigford moor, was so deeply rutted that a daredevil ride the narrow centre line, or push were your choices. The next choice was to push round the less steep curve, or take the straight up to the ridge option. Ridge wins.

Some muttering about the wisdom of the Pigford far side choice, as we wade through thigh deep marsh grass, but the rocky base of the trail is generally there, and 3 sheds does an impressive job of leading the way.

We pick up the trail markers as the vegetation thins, find the right “right hand turn” and head down to more narrow overgrownness.

Its suprisingly rideable (assuming you have faith there are no wheel eating holes hiding in your path), and great views too. F**ing flies a bit of a nuisance for those not exuding jungle formula.

Fast and fun on the final descent to Greenway bridge, and G eventually catches us up on the e steed.

Slog up to the plague stone, short stop to regroup, quick thrash into the edge of the forest and down to the Smithy to regroup again. The three lads from Charity were also there heading down the road, and that green spoked rear wheel was looking very shonky!

Butty headed off to the Kings Head at speed, and met the 4WD Fuzz mobile head on in Langley village, the “charity lads” were looking nervous…Hmmm.

Perfect evening for sitting out in the Marquees, with heavenly Timmy Taylors Landlord! Good service and some high class banter.

No AoE but a classic TNR summer ride.

TNR 1-7-2021

Crew: PTD, Dunc, El Pres, 3 Sheds, Troll, Slim, Coley, Croxy, G, Butty, Stunt

Route: Muller Corner, Zig Zags, Walker Barn, Charity, Extension, Back of the Moon, Pigford Moor, Shutlingsloe Slabs, Nessit Hill, Poachers Marquee.

Conditions: Warm & Dry

Notes:

An evening of toasting some milestone birthdays, with PTD celebrating 61, as he hadn’t been able to do 60 last year, and Dunc now 50!

Route kept simple to ensure sufficient time to imbibe, Emma dropped by en route from work en bike to say hi, various folk were running late, so we started on the zig zags, and by the top we had almost everyone. Paul phoned in the menu order, and G arrived about 30 seconds later.

The ebike had changed colour – this being the one that will live in France in due course.

Chazza loose and rocky…but not as loose and rocky as the extension!!

Chapeau to Phil & Coley on hard tails!

A ride/push up back of the moon to get a nice view (and some rocks for dispensing on)

Bellinis (Prosecco with fresh peach slice)

Mojito (White Peak White Rum, and fresh mint, and ice cubes!)

Funky finished us off with a wee nip of Highland Park.

Lovely and dry across the moor, with a responsible descent down the slabs with nesting season still underway off the tracks.

The singletrack to nessit getting quite overgrown.

Everyman to themselves on route choice down to the Poachers.

Excellent service in the relaxed Marquee, with barmaid banter of the Canuck variety, as the sky turned red with the sunset behind Teggs nose.

An Axis of evil fled the midges and had bad boy whiskies.

16C at midnight in tropical tythy.

Felt like a normal TNR..and the band properly back together.

TNR 24-6-2021 To Sponds in Short Sleeves

Crew: El Pres, Slim, Dr S, PTD, Dunc, 3 Sheds, G, Butty, Stunt

Route: Rainbow Bridge, Clarke Lane, Redway under Nancy, Back of Kerridge, Waulkmill Wood, Ingersley Vale, Poachers Snicket, Pott Shrigley, Bakestonedale road to layby, track to top, right along gritstone trail to Sponds, trigpoint, Dale Top, past the new plantation, over the fence down to the mining diorama, back up and rejoin the descent to Birchencliffe, Shrigley Lane, Long Lane, Green Lane, Beeston Mount, Poachers.

Conditions: Warm and hazy, dry trails, rain as we got to the pub.

Notes:

It felt like a normal TNR this week, apart from the fact G actually arrived, tempting folks into trying the dark side with goes on his monster ebike (the power , the power!!).

Butty seems to have worn out his back tyre with only 900 miles of e fun – presumably the road to poynton is now well rubbered in!?

A fine evening for riding, warm but not hot, hazy without being too humid, not that buggy.

Route to Sponds was much debated, but eventually the off road from the layby option won (prompting our e outriders to take the straight uphill then along the ridge route to avoid the stiles.

The lambs are looking chunky, by eck they’ve grown fast!

Shock and outrage at the sign on the gate at the top of sponds, and we take the traditional right of way past the trigpoint.

Not a good night to be close behind others – the sheep poo shrapnel flies everywhere and seems super sticky!

Several riders needed to decontaminate by Dale Top, prompting an early start to the ribaldry zone!

PTD, Butty, G & 3 Sheds sessioned the jump just down from the whales tooth, before time and the call of the pub (plus a couple of raindrops) got us moving again, and heading at speed down.

Taking the LHS grassy bit after the Birchencliffe cottages led to one off (stunt) and one near miss (Butty) as it cunningly held one slippy muddy patch hidden in the long grass near the bottom.

Poachers seating under cover was the right answer as the rain came down very steadily soon after we arrived.

Barnsley Gold, Purple Moose, and Icebreaker consumed before the Leffe round later on. Table bratwurst a new TNR first (and Ribaldry enhancer!!)

Wet ride home (and precautionary visit to A&E for hand xrays the next morning for stunt, but fortunately just a bad sprain)

TNR 10-6-2021 Doog’s Summer BBQ

Crew: Slim, Butty, Stunt

BBQ’ers: Doog, El Pres, Coley, Troll, Croxy

Route: RB, Tinkers clough, Redway past White Nancy, back of Kerridge to Lidgetts lane, Bull Hill, New Road, Charity, Extension, Standing Stone, BBQ

Conditions: Warm, dry and lovely

Doog presents another fine example of al fresco logistics and planning!

With a big peak weekend looming for many, a small posse did the ride, with others finding their way to the RV.

Too warm for a big ride anyway, and those who did were treated to a younger breed of rider stripping off to show their tat’s (perhaps to impress the girlfriend riding in the troy lee designs top!)

When we arrived, the beers were ready, and the charcoal settling down.

Prawn skewer starter, followed by small sausage, large sausage (no sniggering!), burger and chicken, plus baked potato, coleslaw…and magnums for pud!

Carb loading for the big weekend riders!!

Troll did a great job finding firewood, and also the largest fire stick we have ever had!

Fab to see Coley – who provided some Glenmorangie for a final tipple

More nights like this please!

TNR 27-5-2021 Summer for two (or three)

Words by Pete

Crew : 3 sheds, Pete, Butty (eventually) 

Route :  Bolly Stonehenge,  Rooty Middlewood section, Oakenbank , Bull Hill, Charity , Extension, Standing Stone, Nessit , Downhill course lower, Sutton Hall  

This weeks trending hashtags : 

#ButtyTeleportsFromPoynton #SuttonHallPostlockdown=DraftPunkIPA

Weather : Mild , dry and a little sunny . Midges by Chazza . Slightly cool on the way home .  

Notes

Lots of legitimate excuses this week …so it was just me and 3sheds at the muster point .

TBH ..I quiet like riding with just one or two companions .

Phil gave me a coaching section on how to ride the rooty bit of Middlewood Way without sliding sideways off the roots. Much appreciated.

The weather has finally improved , and although it was still very wet underfoot/wheel on Chazza the clear , calm and relatively warm conditions really change the vibe in the forest. 

Butty put his live location on WhatsApp and we kept checking it ….for ages it looked like he was stuck in Poynton…then suddenly , up at the Nessit Benches .

We were welcomed back at Sutton Hall like prodigal sons. Steak burgers all round and draft Punk IPA . What’s not to like ! 

TNR 20-05-2021 Nailing It On Oakenbank

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Words by Pete , Pics by Butty & Croxy 

Crew : Pete, Butty, Dunc, Croxy, Troll, El Pres 

Pub: Kersh 

Route :  RB,  War Memorial, Windmill Lane, Hurdsfield Rd , Lidgetts & Kerridge Bridleway, Waulkmill Wood, Poachers Snicket, Oakenbank, reverse Oakenbank, The Poachers 

This weeks trending hashtags : 

#WetAndSlack #PoshRustyNailsHaveDalwhinnie

Weather : Dreadful .  

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Notes

The Bad news : it was wet and cool and we only managed a slack ride 

The Good news : 

  • We had Croxy’s birthday to celebrate 
  • He had brought posh Rusty Nail made with Dalwhinnie Winter’s gold 
  • The Oakenbank birthday refreshment may have been the cause of a little light hearted competition at the Blaze Hill end of Oakenbank. A little two lap race around the Smithy Cottage at the top of Smithy Brow. Can’t remember who won !
  • We finally return to the inside of a pub – the Poachers 
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