drunkcyclist2

Crew: TJ, El Pres, Slim, Troll, 3 Sheds, Bern, Dunc, Butty, McD, Stunt

Jacksonville: Doog, Croxy, Adrian & Biscuit + the Jacksonville hounds.

Route: Rainbow bridge ,Middlewood way to Poynton car park, Shrigley Road, reverse Chapel route to Moorside lane, up the quarry descent, veer right past the Mine cap, and down beavers creek to the layby, off road ascent to Dale top, parallel to the wall descent, chapel descent, Shrigley road, Jacksonville.

Conditions: Cool and breezy, slimy and wet trails.

Notes:

Another edition of the popular beer n pizza nights, this time hosted by TJ, with posh pizza’s and Dunc’s posh pizza oven!

With such a tempting offer, some country & western members join the posse – McD in suspicously clean kit and bike! Stunt is still on the semi fat steed with the KTM bottom pivot bolts still not sorted, and he’s now had a rear spoke go on the ride to the start!

Rapid transit to meet this weeks ride sherrif at the Poynton end, and the Butty takes us up into them there hills.

At the end of the Chapel track we are onto wet soft grass – plenty of mutterings about route choice as we struggle for grip (and leg strength!), once over the stream its actually easier going, until the sloppy bit at the top before the wall.

There is more to come heading up the quarry ascent – and only the ebike cleans this one. Finally we get some downhill action cutting into beavers creek past the mine monument. Quite technical – but good lines at the side with minium vegetation this time of year.

More sloppy slippy uphilling across the moor and over the ladder stile, the sheep watch half interestedly as we slowly close on Dale top.

Butty has to stop just short with pedal trouble, and again at Dale top – conflicting theories abound – cranks put on the wrong sides at the shop? but it seems that the pedals just don’t have a lot of thread and have worn badly. Eleccy tape is offered to help get some temporary grip, but a removal of washers gets one or two extra threads into the crank arm – sufficient to get him home!

WIth the many pair of red eyes glaring at us from that there Manchester, we take route one down to the lane (not that rocky – but uber slippy!), then Chapel descent and down the road back to Jacksonville.

Beers are waiting in the garden, dogs come and check us out, Dunc fires up his pizza oven, TJ gets ZZtop on the sound system , and we settle into the conservatory for the evening.

Croxy arrives avec G&T’s, Adrian with extra beer, and great to see Doog.

Topics of conversation included Gym etiquette, the obsession with being ripped by the youthful males of today and amusing names of yoga postions. All with plenty of southern drawl and quotes thrown in 😉

With Titanic plum porter on offer, and the appropriately named Woodford reserve bourbon to come, the AoE starts early, a pentagram of uber bad boys stay for TJ whisky and the last three rings come in past 02:30!

Great night – despite drizzly rides home, and fuzzy heads for some the next day.

We’re past the spring equinox now…

Words by Alex, Photos by Pete

Crew: El Pres, PTD, Croxy, 3 Sheds, Slim, Dunc, Butty, Stunt

Route: Top’o’Bull Hill lane, Tea rooms, Shining Tor, Across the Moors to Hooleyhey lane, Ewrin Lane, Smith Lane, Robin Hood.

Conditions: Cold with Strong Easterly wind, trails very soft in places.

Notes:

Having scouted out the Robin Hood the other week, its time to include it as a TNR destination, food is pre-ordered and a cunning route is cooked up to get us there.

At the meet point, the wind is already a talking point, there may not be any precipitation but the early March weather lion is waking up! It’s not going to be a night where we want to be stopped for too long, and with a very welcome arrival of Butty, and then Dunc (nursing dicky knee) we leave PTD to catch us up and head up the road.

A strong blustery headwind makes for tough riding, and being grateful for when the landscape provides any shelter, the long drag is one such relief, but turning the corner at the end for the last few bends to the tea rooms is full on nasty!

PTD has come via bottom of the oven to join us at the tearooms.

There is worse to come, as we will be really exposed on the ridge – and indeed care is needed lifting bikes over the gates & walls as they are acting like sails!!

Dunc’s knee has been fine on the Tarmac, but is less happy offroad, so he decides to head to the Hood via the lanes.

The rest of us enjoy wind assist up to Shining Tor (although even that can’t help with the six inch deep soft patches that stop us in our tracks!).

Wind really roaring up there, so lead riders are sent off to find the turn (and shelter beind the wall) – however they miss it – but luckily realise their mistake and work their way back to the main group.

It’s still very boggy at the top, but the wind has taken the moisture off the dead dry grass so it’s fairly good going (and with a serious tail wind).

Hideous noises like a strangled bagpipe can be heard over the wind – Stunt is on the tubby tired bike (with the full suss not yet back in action) and there is some serious brakepad contamination!!

He’s hoping that long descents will get them hot enough to burn it off (not over the moors it seems).

The windchill must be sub zero, so we release the front group to go for home so as not to wait for the laggards. At the gate to Hooleyhey lane separation is complete.

Lower down the wind is more bearable, and there is less assist on dead mans lane than hoped for, but even so we are all at the Robin Hood ten minutes ahead of our 8:30 cut off.

Pete has cunningly arranged our table to be in the back room, giving us maximum distance to R’Uke the Rainow Ukele group, who are singing away on the other side.

Boltmaker is excellent, and the food is pretty good too (and very reasonably priced) the only complaint being El Pres’s underdone batter on his fish.

Deep knee discussions (folk seem to know a lot about it!), the second barrel of Boltmaker not as good as the first (did it need time to settle?). Fun Fact from PTD – Shining Tor is the highest point in England this far north (ie nothing higher all the way to the south coast – or even Dartmoor/Exmoor). Some map geekery confirms that it’s also higher than Axe Edge too!

Butty has brought his Mocha shake to imbibe via his tube, with syringe, which he is a well practiced master at. NHS dis connectedness then becomes a theme with many examples.

Quite how we then got on to how Range Rovers are being nicked by boosting the keyless key signals and then reprogramming them I’m not sure – but there was little sympathy for JLR or the owners around the table!

A strange standoff then emerges with those after a fourth pint, vs those who can’t be bothered…in the end we pay the bill and reconvene in the beer garden to sample Shaun’s 63% rum. It’s powerful stuff, and very warming on this cold evening. We are told that a 40ish% version will be in waitrose soon…that does sound good!

It’s been a double buff night for sure, and many a nose is covered on the way home on the descents!

3 rings from Butty who has impressed with his determination to get back on the bike on a less than enticing route & conditions!

Bring on the March lamb!

Words by Alex, Photos by Pete

Crew: El Pres, Slim, 3 Sheds, Dunc, Troll, Stunt

Austin Towers: Billy & Charlie, Adrian, TJ, Butty

Route: Rainbow Bridge, Canal to bridge 28, track up to Oak Lane, Redway Lane, Nancyside Lane, North Farm, Waulkmill wood, Ingersley Vale, Poachers snicket, Oakenbank, Kiskhill Lane, Jumper Lane, Blaze Hill, Rainow, Robin Hood, Oakenbank, Poachers snicket, Lord Street, Austin Towers.

Conditions: Cold, lots of surface water.

Notes:

Spring is in the air, the sky is not quite dark when setting out for the ride, and it’s not raining. Yet the ground is sodden, it’s cold, and there is some lingering winter malaise.

To liven things up Pete invites us to Austin Towers (oh behave!) for post ride pizza and beer.

Still at the rendevous, the route plan is mostly about avoiding the main muddy bits. With the track to Clarke Lane farm underwater for quite a section, Pete leads us onto the Canal – where a near unbroken string of puddles is almost as wet as the Canal itself!

Then it’s huff and puff up the doubletrack, and climb on tarmac past the Bulls Head, and onto the concrete to crest Nancyside lane. We are now a bit warm on this sub five night.

A token bit of slop on the back of Kerridge from North Farm to Waulkmill wood – is slippy, slithery stuff – 3 Sheds wins the most effective route choice – by going high and sticking to the grass!

The descent to the gate (and the roaring waterfall) is also a test of keeping it straight through deepish mud!

All the recent rain has washed a mud free channel down the snicket – which is thus the line to take, and it’s more of the same up Oakenbank.

Extended route discussions at Kiskhill lane, a general lack of enthusiasm for heading to the Gritstone, so we opt for the short climb from Jumper lane up Blaze hill, before turning right and looping back into Rainow. Far more enthusiasm for a cheeky pint in the Robin Hood, and to check out food options for a possible future finish.

Installed in the stone flagged snug under the watchful eye of Robin the Raven, the food offerings look good (and value) with 8:30 serving on a Thursday. As we break open the tactical crisps (to keep up the energy pre pizza) and hear 3 Sheds waxing lyrical about bathers in 3 Shires, Ukelelies start up from across the room.

From bare topped ladies to bear necessities it could be a fine sing a long…if it wasn’t for the blandness of the folk groups vocals, I’ve heard more emotion from brownies singing Kum by yah! We may need to determine if this is a thursday ritual…

Pints and crisps finished, back out into the cold – the odd flake of snow falling here and there, and attack the climb up Oakenbank to get some warmth before the descent.

3 Sheds heads off to grab a Kebab (Pizza not his thing), whilst the rest of us dodge the Gritter on Lord Street and Decontaminate in the underground garage. Barky Billy and Charlie do eventually calm down, G&T’s are offered, and beers opened.

Adrian arrives, with tales of hard snow, banged shoulder, and carrying on (he’s tough!)

The Pizzas get delivered, and very fine they are too (local bolly fare wins over standard chain offerings)

TJ brings Butty, and the Dune comparisons kick off with tubing talk.

Later an AoE develops, whisky is drunk, Jane is welcomed home, and it’s well past the witching hour by the time we leave.

Butty here’s to dry trails by the time you are back on the bike!

Crew: Stunt

Route: MC, zig zags, charity (tarmac), hacked way lane, back into the forest at the gate, witches cottage, main trail/road to Leathers, home via Clarke lane and town.

Conditions: Gusting 40mph winds, above freezing, light rain, recent snow.

Notes:

Weather warnings a plenty as a big low pressure from the East comes across cold air and triggers potential snowmaggedon. It’s all about the temperatures, and a day of roaring winds and rain in Macc is blizzards and havoc in Buxton.

But there will be snow on them thar hills, and someone really wants to find it.

After an amusing poll of which excuse for not riding tonight, it seems there is only one who is determined to go and find the snow – and sets out a single lap of the forest option for those who might want to brave the conditions.

Well wrapped up in waterproofs over many layers Stunt sets off and posts arrival at Muller Corner on time, it’s Billy no mates time. No snow here, just wetness and mud on the zig, but only a few meters of vertical height later at the start of the Zag some rapidly melting white stuff is evident, and by the top it could just about be called snow, and covers the whole of the track.

The winds is strong and in your face, probably the gentlest descent from Windyways (aptly named) to Walker barn to avoid being blown over.

Charity offers shelter – by being a sunken lane, the lower tarmac section is slushy, some pushing is needed when grip goes as a result. Part way up its proper snow, and pedalling can resume – mainly in the tracks of a 4×4 that has come up recently. Wonderful sinuous shapes on the banks where the vegetation has been covered in smooth curves. As the lane flattens out the wind is again roaring across the fields to make life difficult, at the start of Charity proper there are some big drifts, but going up will be into the teeth of the weather – probably not a good plan whilst solo riding.

I decide to head down Hacked way lane, and immediately spot two sets of tyre tracks – it looks like there are at least two other madmen in the forest tonight.

A couple of inches of snow makes for nice riding all the way down to the gate, and it’s more of the same on the trail – there is much more shelter from the wind here too.

On the long track down from Witches cottage to the road – it’s speedy, and not slippy, but the snow is getting wetter the lower you go, and the last section is just mainly meltwater!

Route one home, and passing the Leathers the road is clear, and just the odd bit of slush at the sides.

The wind is now my friend, as it blows me home for an early bath, and I can report a proper TNR has been completed 🙂

Words by Alex, Photos by John

Crew: El Pres, Croxy, Dunc, Troll, Stunt

Pub: Butty

Route:

Rainbow bridge, Clarke Lane, Endon House climb, Lidgetts Lane, Back of Kerridge, slope of doom, Rainow, Oakenbank, Pott Shrigley, Styperson Woods, snicket of doom, Sugar Lane, Canal, Bridge by Tinkers Clough, Oak Lane, Redway Lane, “Under Nancy”, Ingersley vale, snicket, Poachers.

Conditions: Mild, breezy, drizzle post pub.

Notes:

Croxy alerts us to the fact it will be Burn’s night this TNR, with various Burn’s night suppers being advertised by some of our hostelries- but they either start too early, or are too expensive. Troll suggests some al fresco eating of snackage inspired by the occasion, and this sounds even better!

However the weather forecasts suggest that we do finish the evening indoors, and a Poachers finish is the inevitable conclusion.

Dunc polls for attendance, and a small crew assemble at RB to work out the rest! Croxy even on his acoustic full suss – and E-C*#t free evening!

Tis a windy night (if extremely mild) so going high is not going to be fun, Croxy suggests a route and no one has a better plan so off and over the Canal we go.

Conversation is kicked off by said pensioner who has a petrol driven RC model aeroplane that he built some years ago, and now with some time to play he enquired about flying it at the strip in the field we are riding past – £200 to join they said (insurance it seems), Croxy is not yet tempted…or it is the fear of crashing it?? Sub topic – when is a model RC not a drone? there is a difference apparently!

Talking of the skies – there is a wonderful full moon – enhanced by scudding clouds passing it by – we will admire it all evening.

De layer faffing at the top of the Endon house climb due to overheating!

Back of Kerridge is not that muddy – the slope of doom is not that treacherous, but the soft bit after the stream at the bottom is very soft sticky mud…which then comes off tyres in flying lumps on the road descent into Rainow!

Oakenbank is running fast – but the lower section is still muddy for from tractor activity, which makes hitting it at speed a little sketchy.

Road all the way to Styperson, where we find some handy rocks just short of the bombhole to keep out of the wind, and set out the treats…

Troll has baked haggis with firecracker sauce sausage rolls, Croxy has brought Jura – aged in pale ale casks (wtf marketing bollocks). Both are extremely moorish, and pair well together. Being a smallish crew we get three rolls each, and somehow we manage to imbibe over half the bottle to boot!

The forecast rain has not yet made an appearance, and we have time on our side, so Croxy extends the loop (to burn off some of the alcohol) by dropping onto the Canal off Sugar lane, and heading back Kerridge way to pick up Oak lane.

This means we will get a steep little climb up Nancy Lane, some nice views of Bollingtonia by moonlight, and take the Poachers from the rear up the mucky snicket.

Our usual table reserved in Pete’s name, speaking of whom he messaged earlier picturing lunch in the Alps with a 5 Litre bottle of Rioja!

Dunc shares news of Big Nic – well on the mend after a bit of internal rejointing needed from an op he had in his 20’s.

Thornton initiates purile humour from afar, progress on the Troll house must have reached roofiness as he’s talking solar panels, geekery extends to methane purifiers on septic tanks, and thence to electric cars, with a bit of divertion to True Detective (Jodie foster starring in season 4 at the moment).

Butty arrives with tales of treatment, and suitably gross humour.

All of the banter and food is washed down with Citra, Desert Storm and eventually pudding beer, and speaking of puddings El Pres goes apple pie dessert!

No AoE (well we did do some decent whisky imbiming beforehand), it is raining on the way home, but just light drizzle blown by the gusty winds.

It feels good to have done January (from a TNR perspective), the light is staying noticeably longer in the afternoons, and next week is Feb!

Pete you were missed – and you have competition in the photographer stakes from Croxy!