Words by Pete ; Photos by Pete & Dunc
Crew : Lee, Dunc, Smiffy, El Pres, Croxy, Butty, Pete , Troll
Pub: Ruth
Route : Zag (muster 1) – Calrofold – Lidgetts (muster 2) – KB – Poachers Snicket – Oakenbank – Kiskhill La – Jumper La – Highway Man – Bakestonedale Rd – Sponds – The Whistling Gate – Moorside Lane – PS – Bolly Skate Park – Middlewood Way or Towpath to The Wharf
Conditions : High cloud , cold 3-4C , clear visibility, seriously muddy in bits
Notes :
This week’s ride is a Lee Wadsworth production . A start and end in Macc evening, with a northern circuit centred around Bollingtonia sandwiched in the middle.
I will begin the story at muster point 2 , at the Lidgetts end of the KB. Dunc arrives a couple of minutes behind me , on the re-shell bike . Soon we see the lights of the Southern Posse.
In an evening of “mechanicals”, Lee arrives with a problem with his lights already (does that count as a mechanical ? – I think so) . It seems that bracket is loose on his handlebars because he has lost the rubber spacer. With a small hint of smugness , I pull out a little roll of black electrical tape from my rucksack and a bodge-it-till-we-are-home fix is sorted .
We opt to ride the length of the Kerridge bridleway , which becomes quite entertaining – many bits are very muddy indeed . It is fun just trying to stay upright and heading forwards. Thanks to the late David Bowie for nicking a line from his 1972 song “Hang Onto Yourself” for the title of this report : “We move like tigers on vaseline”. It felt appropriate .
A brief pause outside The Poachers as we re-group and have a discussion about the next bit of our route tonight . I feel a slight pang of guilt at this point as I know we will not be returning here tonight for our post ride refreshment.
Near the col of Oakenbank I catch up with Funky Dunc , who is having issues with his drivetrain . The chain has hopped off the back of the cassette and jammed against the spokes . He has got it unjammed Ok though .
Our climb continues up to Jumper Lane – the red lights of the distant skyscrapers of Manc-hatten are visible at this height , beautifully framed by the blackness of the curve of the hills in between.
We regroup at the top of Blaze Hill – which I will always think of as “The Highwayman” even though the pub has been shut for many years now. After a minute or so’s rest we realise we are only 6 – not the original eight. Dunc & Croxy are missing. I dial Dunc to discover his mechanical woes are continuing , so he has decided to return home and meet us at the Wharf on a more viable steed. Croxy appears just as I get off the phone.
Onward and upward . The view of Manchester and the Cheshire plain are getting better and brighter the higher we climb. The thin cloud layer up high is nicely underlit.
By the time we are approaching Sponds I finally feel like I am not over-insulated and that my layers , gloves and helmet liner are keeping me from the wind and the cold. Its a bit muddy getting to the Whistling gate at Dale Top , but it is playing its spooky tune reliably when we arrive.
This week we descend straight down next to the wall towards “Ratboy’s place” at the edge of Lyme Park . Its fun and fast with quite a few hidden rocks to aid the concentration.
Back along Moorside Lane and it feels like everyman for himself towards the Bolly skateboard park . Here we have a TNR first of the sub five rule being observed in central Bollingtonia . Lee has generously brought some Courvoisier VS , and some posh and tasty mince pies . It may still be November, but it’s beginning to feel like Xmas .
Onward to Macc . At the AZ side of the Rainbow Bridge Smiffy and I encounter a returning Funky Dunc astride his reliable Fortitude . Smiffy takes the Towpath and turns up the power. Dunc and I take the middle wood way tarmac bits to Tesco and then climb to the Wharf.
We are allowed to stash our bikes in the Beer Garden , but this involves traversing a mini junkyard of dumped stuff . Chris the former landlord has moved on ..to work for Ossett brewery . Its no surprise then that the Wharf is now serving four or five of that brewery’s beers . Not that that is a problem ! The Silver King pale ale goes down well , as does Kimono and a 4% Stout called jet.
We get a whole section of the pub (by the fire) to ourselves , it is a relaxed and warm place to hang out.
The pizza arrives when I am on my second pint , and we certainly don’t go hungry. I have to confess to ordering a large mighty meaty ! Ruth arrives and it seems to strangely coincide with the reaching of the ribaldry zone.
Somehow its a little after 11 , and we are all departing homeward , after just three beers and no axis of evil !
This week’s learning points :
Airbike brand cassettes are made of cheese !
Always carry some black electrical tape