Words by Eric, Pics by El Presidente
Crew;
A Team; El Pres, Butty, Stunt, Dunc, Doog, Eric.
In da Hospital; MrsB, Mrs D
Route; Chrome, Bollin Valley, Chelford Road, Alderley Edge, Swiss Hill, Alderley Edge again, various return routes chosen – Macclesfield Hospital A&E or Black Boy depending on circumstances.
Conditions; Miserably wet deteriorating to diabolical Hollywood Fire Brigade style rain. Mud everywhere.
Stats; Butty lighting failure requiring an electrician
Offs; Minor, just about everyone, More significant, Butty riding failure requiring a paramedic
The weather forecast for tonight was not far short of Armageddon so Alex declared a low level route; time for a bit of wizardry.
The story can be told in What’s App posts
Dunc – “and here was me going to put a request in to go gnarly to test the new bike”
Butty – “It’s either insanity or the destination – but I’m on my way” (hic)
Everyone arrived on suspension bikes except Duncan who didn’t want to get his new off road suspension machine dirty.
As we moved along the Bollin Valley the rain began and by the time we were half way to the Edge we were getting seriously wet. But TNR must go on and we enjoyed the glooptastic descents around Artists Lane.
On the other side as we waited for the Butty lighting repair, the water slowly running into places it shouldn’t, we realized we still had no idea where to go. Where is a NT Ranger when you need one?
Alex led off into the mud and we slipped and slithered down to the road, big grins despite the increasingly grim conditions.
At a short roadside committee meeting we decided on just one more spin up Swiss Hill rather than an early return to the pub –
Butty led off with his normal gusto – until he arrived at a little right left kink over a hollow. Duncan was next on the scene with some comforting words “urgh – your tooth is hanging down by a thread”
As everyone gathered it was clear that both Butty and the rock he had kissed were both shaken although Butty was bleeding more. Call it conspiracy theory (thanks Alex) but your correspondent had that very afternoon replenished the first aid kit. Sadly Steristrips can’t stick mouths so we resorted to a few pads to chew on and the Spongebobs water bottle.
Plan Z swung efficiently into action – Pres, Stunt and Butty headed for the road to call an ambulance whilst Dunc and Eric headed off to get vehicular support.
Mrs 999 – “999 here, is the casualty conscious?”
Stunt – “yes he’s conscious, he’s walking around rather grumpy”
Despite the woes of the NHS, 3 paramedics and two ambulances were soon on the scene and Butty was whisked off to Macc A&E where Eric was waiting with dry clothes. Meanwhile Dunc arrived back at the EDGE with the team car to rescue abandoned bikes.
A slightly concerned looking Nic soon arrived with every intention of a wifely kiss and a comforting chocolate bar – but on taking one look at the state of Mr B ……….
So released from carer duties your correspondent headed for the Black Boy where the team had managed to get in just in time to get food, so all ended OK then, as normal.
PS. On collecting Mrs D from the station at 10.45 we called back to the hospital to find Butty almost processed. Everyone home before Friday 13th started.
Time will mostly heal Butty’s face but the chip in the rock will be there for millennia; and may become a place of annual pilgrimage
