drunkcyclist2

Crew: PTD, El Pres, Butty, Slim, Dunc, Stunt

Pub: Lee

Route: Bottom of the Zag, reverse Teggs Trails, Saddlers way, up Hardingland, Witches cottage, lesser ridden fire roads across to the lane, Forest Chapel, Standing Stone, Nessit Hill, between the DH course, ressies, Leathers.

Conditions: Cool & Blustery

Notes:

After last weeks wet & muddy ride PTD takes charge early doors with a cunning route based on gravel.

Dunc shows some cheeky sublte clickbait when posting the menu, and a new whatsapp polling feature!

We assemble at the bottom of the Zag in the light, but exposed to a stiff cold breeze. 50m back along back eddisbury lane a small lorry is at an alarming angle having pulled off the lane onto the verge, and the driver is tinkering under the bonnet (feels like a tractor will be needed one way or the other!)

As cold rain hits we descent back to the main road and up to the turn to climb up to Teggs, by the time we are at the gate we can see white clouds and blue skies in the last of the light – proper spring weather!

Up round the old quarry and back to the visitors centre, light on now, and down Saddlers way – which is suprisingly dry (be that wind it will). At the bottom we see the farmer and his wife with two sheepdogs keeping an eve on the ewes nearby.

On the little climb to the farm to start Hardingland we take care to avoid toads emerging from winter hibernation.

The trail past the stream is also dry, but the loose surface means that only team “e” clean it. The track to Witches cottage (or should that be Whiston memorial cottage?) is more “up” than you think, we follow PTD down and then left for a quieter route across the forest.

The little pines have grown to overhang the edges of the fire road, and some deciduous little trees are in bud (birch or ash?) lead riders disturb a big owl. A steady up, then a fun down, before a very steep final up to where it all opens out.

So far so good in avoiding the mud…just this little bit across to the lane…which is singletrack with puddles and slippery as heck! Butty manages to turn his back tyre into a Hariy Mud Slick, we push the last bit until the exit down to the lane.

All that effort has been worth it as we don’t have far to go on road to Forest chapel, with a promise of an extra special tipple from PTD, its full pelt to Nessit.

Despite the wind it’s eerily calm at Dan’s bench sheltered by the trees behind, and we are treated to the luminous liquid that at 60% abv is instanly christened Rocketfuel! Absinth, Whisky and Southern Comfort. It tastes like liqourice allsorts, warms all the way down, and it slightly sweet. Half a listerine cup is plenty!

One last segment down the traditional nessit to leathers tracks – to discover that this is where all the mud has been! Well enought to get some good splatter anyhow 😉

Great ale selection in the smithy, neckoil, razorback and landlord the favourites, fire is on for drying andy damp gloves, and the food is hearty and welcome.

Lee arrives with epic tales of terrible winds over the pampas plains, empty landscapes between amazing places and advice to only bike some parts unless you are doing the full Americas South to North ride.

John gives us a low bants score due to ecommerce models being discussed at length.

Butty has brought his van to ensure a dry journey home (rain forecast from 11pm) Pete gets a lift, and the rest of us pedal furiously down through langley as droplets start falling! Luckily its just a short shower and the rest of the route home is dry.

Next week the first BST ride, light past 7:30!

words by Alex, pics by Pete

Crew: El Pres, PTD, Butty, TJ, 3 Sheds, Troll, Slim, Bern, Stunt

Pub: El Pud

Route: Top’o’Bull Hill Lane, Tea Rooms, Shining Tor, Halfway along the Yorkshire Northshore, RH track down to Errwood Hall, Singletrack up past the Shrine, Pym’s Chair, Jenkin Chapel, Ewrin Lane, Blaze Hill, Poachers.

Conditions: Clear and cold, soft in places.

Notes:

This week we are presented with almost perfect conditions for going high, so those who wanted to scratch their Goyty itch last week, get to get it on tonight 😉

Meeting on the Bull Hill corner there is a beautiful vista to the west, with the last vestiges of the sunset giving an orange tinge on the horizon, then a full palette of blues from light to dark up to a cresent moon with two bright jewels hanging below of Jupiter and Venus.

On the road climb it’s all too easy to be mesmerised by the circling planes crossing orion in the stack before they glide across the ridgeline on their way to the airport.

At the tea rooms, it’s getting chilly under these clear skies, once regrouped (and with the ebikers back from a cheeky charity) it’s up to the top track, over the gates, and with extra layers applied the down and up to Shining Tor.

The trail is dry, but the peaty bits are very soft, although we must now be above the frostline, as the mud is stiffening as we climb on it’s way to frozen ground.

Butty takes the lead to find our exit from the lumpy bumpy slabs (no pinch flats) then gives us stern warnings of the dangers of Clefts and Water Bars on the doubletrack descent.

This turns out to be overblowing it somewhat, but it’s an excellent dry rocky descent which then opens out into some grassed over switchbacks. Well worth the climbing to get there.

Crossing the stream we opt for the singletrack over the road climb, although there is a lot of pushing from the acoustic team (and only one e**nt cleaned it) as in addition to the risk of pedal strike, there are slippy muddy bits to content with. It does however warm us up 🙂

It’s a sub 5 night, and PTD reward us at Pyms chair with a whisky cockail, by adding a hint of Absinthe, and some vanilla…Sweet and Smooth… we all take seconds!

The descent is a proper face freezer (Dunc – it was definitely a double buff night), then at the bottom leg muscles needed reminding that they needed to perform.

Lead rider got an up close Badger crossing on Ewrin lane just past the dead mans stone, and with tired legs and cold feet any thoughts of Smith Lane and Oakenbank are quashed with route one to the Pub needed.

Red Willow ales are good on the taste buds and light on the wallet, although some still decide to do the £7 cloudy pint! Warmed by the food, ribaldry is finally reached at 22:04.

Pete has already eased into the Leffe zone when a vision appears..El Pud makes an appearance, and takes the ribaldry to new depths.

Tactical coffee gets some stick, but a fine Laphroig for the AoE team before heading home with the odd fleck of snow in the wind.

Early indications suggest it was a munroe night.

Crew: Bern, EL Pres, PTD, Troll, Butty, Dunc, Doog, Stunt

Pub: Salad Dodger

Route: Top of Bull Hill, Charity, Extension, Tea Room, Cat, Danebower Hollow, Cumberland Clough, Cumberland Brook, Wildboarclough, Standing Stone, Nessit Hill, Ressies, Sutton Hall.

Conditions: Cool & Dry

Notes:

Bern announces his comeback from a torn calf muscle with a classic route.

After some start time and place haggling, a 5:30 at the top of bull hill or 6:00 at the start of charity is agreed.

With all plans it doesn’t last long in contact with the participants…

The troll needs to swap a damaged chain link with a quick link at Bull Hill, then discovers he only has 10 speed links for an 11 speed chain. Luckily the collective spare parts of the team are able to provide 😉

Others are also running late, so 6:15 ish at a very cold and breezy charity, and after tales of skiing tomfoolery, we are finally together (apart from ePTD) with comms to book the table and live location on we attack the climb to get warmth back in our limbs.

Worryingly there are still long stretches of sheet ice rivulets on the shady side of the track, what will the downhill bring?

…just some water and a bit of mud (so it must get more sunshine) and we pick up PTD who has cut across to the Narnia gate to intercept us.

No gravel dancing for Bern on the extension this time.

..and it’s Bern the Bolt as he rockets up hill to the tea rooms, pursued by Stunt on the rebuilt KTM with new 52 tooth rear cassette for cunning hill climbing capability.

Extra layers donned at the tea room pit stop, there is a real bit to the breeze tonight, health and safety briefing on the pothole of doom on the little bridge on the first part of Danebower towards the gate.

Sadly some high cloud has come in to spoil what would have been an excellent star gazing evening away from the lights of the plains.

Fast and furious across to the Congleton road, and Doog does an impressive recovery when he’s knocked 90 degrees right at the end, and ends up on the bank just short of a steep drop into the back of the quarry!

Sweets proffered at the start of Chumby to provide a sugar boost…which they do after some time in the mouth (the licorice ones have gone a bit hard in the cold).

The right hand side of the chumby ravines is down to a narrow slithery strip – Bern had an early dab into the long grass and switches to the left, others admit to a bit of vertigo and the need to look ahead to avoid being sucked into the void.

The brook section is running well, a strong whiff of sheepiness from the flock hanging about either side of the ford, and some amusing arse streaks on the “mudguards are for wimps” Butty.

A promise of schnapps once we summit the forest, and with time on our side, and Dan’s birthday to toast (he would have been 42) we head to his bench on Nessit.

No sign of our Austrian shots expert as the pear infused liquid warmth is poured and consumed, looking at the vista the smithy lights reflect in the water giving it the appearance of an ocean liner rather than a building.

The usual route down, but unusually a group of gravel bikers (and a photographer with a camera on a long pole) are on the little side dam as we burst out of the single track for the final little uphill.

Sutton Hall achieved by 20:30, and pretty busy, Pete may not have managed to meet us en route, but he has managed to book the big posh table in the main room.

Split in the camp between the grapefruit strong one, and the suprisingly moderate dark Abyss stout (both excellent), there has been a run on the steak, feather of beef and the sea bass, but our hearty favourites are all still on 😉

An axis of evil develops with two rounds of whisky (in nice glasses that lead to reminicences of southern comfort in our much younger days).

Classic TNR in all the right ways…